Friday Feature: Dinners with Ruth

 Nearly all of my Audible books are nonfiction selections, with most of them falling into either the psychology/self-help genre or memoir read by the author (pretty much the only way I'll buy a memoir).

My current Audible "read," Dinners with Ruth by Nina Totenberg, is no exception, falling squarely into the latter category. The Ruth in question is the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg, whom I find fascinating. And, as a long-time NPR listener, I recognize journalist Nina Totenberg's name, so I was interested to hear how the lives of these two ladies intersected.

I have to say that the book, while interesting, is not what I was expecting. More memoir than the interwoven story I anticipated, it took me a little while to get into. But, true to her journalistic background, Totenberg is an excellent storyteller and, after tweaking my expectations to match the story that was unfolding, it wasn't long before I got pulled in.

While RBG is a featured player, Totenberg is the star of the show, at least so far (I've just begun Chapter 10). In all fairness, I should have figured this out based on the subtitle of the book (A Memoir on the Power of Friendships), but I blew right past that, focusing instead on the primary title.

Kudos to the marketing department at the publisher.

Still, the book doesn't disappoint. I lived through the time period when Totenberg was coming of age professionally and when Ginsburg was appointed to (and served on) the Supreme Court, but I was in a very different stage of my life than these two women. Listening to the stories Totenberg shares, I am once again reminded of the egocentrism of high school and the cocoon of college that allowed me to live through the same era while being blissfully unaware of the fact that, as a woman, I was still very much a second-class citizen when it came to civil rights, salary, and so many other things. 

It is thanks to women like Nina Totenberg, Anna Quindlen (whose book on writing I just finished reading) and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (along with all the others Totenberg mentions in the book) that these gaps have grown smaller. In weaving her own story together with today's narrative, Totenberg gently reminds us that these rights are not something we should take for granted but, rather, important things that we need to guard against losing, even decades later. 

Or at least that's what I hear. I suspect that other readers might take other messages away as well, as there are many concepts that are part of the fabric of the narrative. But, as the mother of a daughter who is (thankfully) more cognizant of history, politics, and civil rights than I was at her age, I'm grateful to all those (female and, in many cases, male) that Totenberg writes about, not only for my own sake, but for my daughter's. 

Like most memoirs (or at least the ones I find interesting), it's the stories that make it worth the read. The fact that I'm brushing up on my history is just the icing on the cake. And, that being the case, the RBG tidbits are the (appropriately) delicate yet delicious sprinkles on that frosting. As the only person in my family who's not a history buff, I'm grateful for character-driven narratives that feature history as a part of the setting, teaching me things I should perhaps have know all along.

Friday Feature: I Resolve Not to Resolve

 

Are you a New Year's resolution-maker? I have to admit that I love my monthly goal-setting sessions. They keep me on track and help me to achieve things that matter to me.

But I also don't expect myself to be perfect. I know that I won't hit every mark, and that's okay. What I'm seeking is progress -- more time spent on things that matter, more time spent doing things I love, more time spent exploring all the things that fascinate me.

Another thing these sessions do is take the pressure off New Year's resolutions. January is just another month and, if I miss a goal one month, there's always the next month -- if the goal still matters, that is. I can't remember the last time I thought "new year, new me" because every month, I not only set new goals, but also celebrate the ones I reached.

According to Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, the whole "new year, new you" mentality is actually toxic. Instead, she favors radical self-acceptance -- loving yourself for who you already are, prizing mental health, and being fully present in where we are, rather than where we are going.

The past two years have certainly made mental health a priority -- or at least brought it to the forefront. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, "laziness," burnout, guilt, forgiveness or something else entirely, you're bound to find some words of wisdom in the NPR-curated "Life Kit for a Mental Health Reset." Typically, I choose one article to share here but after reading several in the life kit, I decided sharing just one was much too stingy; there's so much good information in here about anxiety (the good kind and the debilitating kind), mindfulness, and basically cutting ourselves some slack that it all warrants some perusing.

I know I won't step back from my goal setting in 2022, but that's not (entirely) because I'm driven. It's because it works for me. It helps me focus on what's important to me and I genuinely enjoy reviewing my progress through the lens of self-acceptance. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to revise my goals according to what's going on in my life, as I did in November and December, and to remind myself that I'm a work in progress. Taken in that spirit, my goal-setting sessions remind me of what I've done well, and that encourages me to keep going.

'Tis the season to set goals...or not. You be the judge. But, if I were to suggest one resolution for those who set them, it's to resolve to notice what we do right. That's the kind of resolution that helps us to keep going, even when everything around us feels wrong.

Happy New Year! May you appreciate all you have to offer.

Friday Feature: Leaving Kids Behind?

Last night, I watched President Biden's speech, grateful that the COVID relief package he just signed will bring not only vaccines and COVID tests, but access to health insurance and monthly allowances that could level the playing field for families hit hard not just by COVID, but life. As an educator who used to teach those kids who've just earned their parents a monthly stipend, I'm thrilled that basic needs will no longer need to be a luxury for some families.

But, as an educator (albeit one who now teaches young adults), I also objected to what the President said about our children falling behind. Falling behind what? An arbitrary standard? An expectation meant to be met when life isn't overshadowed by an unpredictable disease? Another provision laid out by the ridiculous, heart-tuggingly-named No Child Left Behind?

If by behind he means that kids aren't necessarily learning what they were learning this time two years ago, I might agree. If he means that kids are learning differently, I definitely agree. But does that mean they're behind?

Learning comes in many forms and every educator I know is working harder than ever to make sure that some form of learning happens. Granted, my sample may be skewed. There may be terrible teachers out there who are coasting, and there are definitely kids out there who are struggling. But "behind" requires a definition. 

Yes, I've seen the projections. This is going to cost these kids for the rest of their lives, according to some experts. Except...we don't know what the rest of their lives are going to look like. This past year has changed not just education, but everything, and judging progress by a standard that is arbitrary and perhaps even outdated triggers all sorts of alarms while still failing to make an evidence-based case. 

After an exhausting year of learning new ways to teach, reach and support my students, I'm offended by the suggestion that that year has been wasted. And I teach self-sufficient young adults. I can only imagine the sting that unintended (I hope) slap in the face packed for educators who are trying to teach little ones.

Children learn on their own time tables and good teaching means meeting kids where they are and taking them to the next level(s) from there -- it always has. When returning to school is safe -- for everyone -- that is exactly what good teachers will do. And, when we do, it will be with a new layer of skills and compassion earned after a year of teaching despite the obstacles imposed by everything from tech glitches to viruses to those who believe we're somehow satisfied leaving children in the dust. If children are behind, we will catch them up. 

That's what we do. Always.

Friday Feature: Luminous Voices in...a Parking Lot?

Overall, I'm much more comfortable with this whole staying at home thing than I expected to be, but there are things I miss. Hugs are at the top of the list, and so, too, is singing. Although I can sing in my house and in my car, it's not the same as singing with other people.

But, thanks to determination, ingenuity and some tech savvy, one group of people figured out how to put something most of us do regularly (sing in our cars) together with something we don't associate with cars (choir practice) and create a new, safe way of making music. In fact, they even had two car concerts -- concerts where the choir gathered together and sang in their cars (and the audience honked in appreciation). 

I don't pretend to understand the technical aspects, but the end result was gorgeous! (If you follow the link to the article, you must listen to the song!) I immediately sent the link to the head of our choir at church, who's been trying to find ways to keep making music under trying circumstances.

So, while I can't go out in my car and replicate this experience on my own, I can listen to the rich combination of voices of the Luminous Voices group, which fills me with hope that singing with a group of friends isn't just something I can reminisce about, but something I'll get to do again.

Perhaps sooner than I think.

Casting the First...Vote?

pixabay.com

Today was one of those days where I had no idea what to write about. I get them every so often, but usually stumble upon a topic early in the day.

Today was not that day.

In the midst of running errands late this afternoon -- long after this blog should have been posted -- I got my idea. Stole it, actually, from a radio ad on NPR. It seems that later this week, they'll be interviewing an author (I want to say Richard Russo, but I can't be sure) and one topic of conversation will be who his characters would vote for.

Bingo.

To really make this true to character and avoid further polarizing one of my characters, I'm going to have to flash back a bit, to earlier this week when there were a few more candidates still pursuing the nomination.

With John Kasich, Ted Cruz and Donald Trump as Republican contenders and Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton as Democratic contenders, here's who I think my characters would vote for:

• Marita would vote for....Hillary. Definitely. 
• Angel would vote for....John Kasich. She'd definitely vote Republican, but she doesn't trust Ted Cruz. And she thinks Donald Trump is a bully. 
• Jim would vote for....Trump. In fact, there's a part of Jim that wants to be Trump.
• Bets would vote for...Hillary. She thinks Bernie Sanders is cute, but she likes Hillary's chutzpah.
• Lukas would vote for...Bernie Sanders. And not just because his youth group kids talked him into it.
• Gina would vote for...Hillary. Or, she'd mean to, but she'd probably have to work late and forget to vote. 
• Charli, if she were old enough, would vote for....Bernie Sanders. She's not so sure about Hillary and the e-mails and she thinks Bernie's kinda cute.

What do you think? Whom do you think my characters would vote for?

Friday Feature: Summer Homework

The only drawback to listening to NPR on short commutes is that I hear great stuff, then I can't find it again. Sometimes, I jot myself a note when I arrive at my destination; other times, I think I remember enough to access the information later, but sadly, I'm wrong.

I heard one of those shows a few weeks ago. A college admissions counselor at a high school was talking about the importance of summer vacation for high school students -- sleeping in, chilling out, taking time to recharge.

Now that's my kind of summer vacation.

So, when I read about a similar summer homework assignment from an Italian teacher -- this time, in The Huffington Post, I cut and pasted the link immediately. Fool me once and all.

And tomorrow, I'm putting an NPR notebook in my car.

Happy 4th of July!

Photo: Sgarton via Morguefile

Friday Freebie: What I'm Reading in Ten Minutes or Less: Multitasking

William Iven, via unsplash.com

Yesterday, I finished a piece I'd queried about so long ago I'm embarrassed to tell you (so I won't). Suffice to say it was long overdue.

So long, in fact, that I needed to update my information. The piece was on multitasking, something we convince ourselves is a good thing, but, as it turns out, isn't. When we multitask, we don't actually do two things simultaneously; instead, we force our brains to switch back and forth between tasks rapidly, exhausting ourselves and interfering with learning and memory in the process. I wrote a blog for CatholicMom.com about this almost two years ago, sparked by information I'd heard on NPR. In working on this more recent piece, I came across an article on slate.com that applied this specifically to multitasking while studying.

If you have a teenager in your house, or are addicted to multitasking yourself (especially multitasking that involves electronic devices), the Slate article is worth a read. Though it doesn't qualify as an update to my information (it was written two months before I wrote my blog post for Tech Talk), it definitely expanded my awareness on the topic.

I should warn you that although you can read the article in ten minutes or less, if you click on all the links in this post, it will take you more than the allotted ten minutes to get through everything -- something that becomes increasingly more difficult for chronic multitaskers to do.

Can you do it? Or have you been outsmarted by your smartphone?