Friday Feature: I Resolve Not to Resolve

 

Are you a New Year's resolution-maker? I have to admit that I love my monthly goal-setting sessions. They keep me on track and help me to achieve things that matter to me.

But I also don't expect myself to be perfect. I know that I won't hit every mark, and that's okay. What I'm seeking is progress -- more time spent on things that matter, more time spent doing things I love, more time spent exploring all the things that fascinate me.

Another thing these sessions do is take the pressure off New Year's resolutions. January is just another month and, if I miss a goal one month, there's always the next month -- if the goal still matters, that is. I can't remember the last time I thought "new year, new me" because every month, I not only set new goals, but also celebrate the ones I reached.

According to Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, the whole "new year, new you" mentality is actually toxic. Instead, she favors radical self-acceptance -- loving yourself for who you already are, prizing mental health, and being fully present in where we are, rather than where we are going.

The past two years have certainly made mental health a priority -- or at least brought it to the forefront. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, "laziness," burnout, guilt, forgiveness or something else entirely, you're bound to find some words of wisdom in the NPR-curated "Life Kit for a Mental Health Reset." Typically, I choose one article to share here but after reading several in the life kit, I decided sharing just one was much too stingy; there's so much good information in here about anxiety (the good kind and the debilitating kind), mindfulness, and basically cutting ourselves some slack that it all warrants some perusing.

I know I won't step back from my goal setting in 2022, but that's not (entirely) because I'm driven. It's because it works for me. It helps me focus on what's important to me and I genuinely enjoy reviewing my progress through the lens of self-acceptance. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to revise my goals according to what's going on in my life, as I did in November and December, and to remind myself that I'm a work in progress. Taken in that spirit, my goal-setting sessions remind me of what I've done well, and that encourages me to keep going.

'Tis the season to set goals...or not. You be the judge. But, if I were to suggest one resolution for those who set them, it's to resolve to notice what we do right. That's the kind of resolution that helps us to keep going, even when everything around us feels wrong.

Happy New Year! May you appreciate all you have to offer.

Friday Feature: How Much Would You Pay for a High Tech Mask?

On Tuesday, I donned my cloth Vera Bradley mask and walked back onto campus. The high that day was forecast to be over 90º and let's just say the air conditioning wasn't up to the task. I left class sweaty and ready to change, and pulled my mask off as soon as I hit the fresh (hot, humid) air outside of the building.

Then, that afternoon, I read about a high tech mask that was the brainchild of musician Will.i.am and  Jose I. Fernandez, costume designer to stars and superheroes. Equipped with fans and bluetooth (among other amenities), it retails for a cool $299. Xupermask, manufactured by Honeywell is definitely not your garden variety mask and most definitely not everyone's style, but it might have been a great accessory for a 90º day in a warm college classroom.

And, hey. If you have to wear a mask, wouldn't it be cool to look like a superhero while you're doing it?

Friday Feature: Sesame Street for Adults?

Last summer, during our beach vacation, I found the Duolingo app. It's a point of pride for me that I've been using the app for over a year now, moving closer to fluency in my long-neglected French skills, dusting off my limited German, and learning to communicate in a very rudimentary fashion in Spanish. I really enjoy the app, despite the fact that the lessons are nowhere near as easy now as they was when I first started. That's not the fault of the app but is, rather, attributable to the fact that I've moved out of beginner levels. 

In addition to Duolingo, I enjoy characters. (Yes, I know that's an odd transition. Bear with me, please). I love creating them, writing about them and prefer character-driven entertainment (books, movies, television shows) as well. If I like a character or an ensemble, I'll stick with the medium, even if it's not stellar. I want to see what happens to the people I've invested in.

Which made the article I stumbled across in Fast Company today particularly interesting. Entitled "Duolingo wants to be the 'Sesame Street' for Adults," the article by KC Ifeanyi talked about how the app is building a stable of characters who appear in its stories -- the ones it uses to help language learners develop their skills. 

I'm not sure how I feel about using a Sesame Street-like app at my age but, as I read further, I realized that I've already absorbed the characters, who recur throughout the stories on the app. Clever (of them, not me).

Duolingo is already on my list of favorite things. Now, with the addition of characters, it could, perhaps, endear itself even further.

Maintenant, excusez moi, s'il vous plait. Je dois pratiquer mon français.*

*Now, excuse me, please. I have to practice my French.

(At least that's what I hope I said).

Friday Feature: Garden Highway

Yesterday, almost exactly two weeks after the first day of spring, the temperatures dropped, reminding us that spring in Pennsylvania occurs at Mother Nature's whim. I'm not complaining; people in other parts of the country are dealing with much worse, and the weather forecasters have assured us that this is just a blip on the radar screen.

Still, it's enough of a blip to endanger the fledgling spring plants that have popped up over the past few weeks, and enough to make stories that feature spring, like this one in Fast Company about a notable Parisian project, especially desirable. 

In a move to improve not just the beauty of the city, but the health of its residents and visitors as well, Parisian officials have created a plan to turn a main thoroughfare into a green space. Over the next decade, Paris will be transforming the eight-lane Champs Élysées into "an extraordinary garden," a plan officials hope will not only clean up the air, but also draw its citizens back to the famous avenue. According to The Guardian, "the plans include reducing space for vehicles by half, turning roads into pedestrian and green areas, and creating tunnels of trees to improve air quality."

Sounds lovely. Just the sort of thing to convince me that a trip to Paris really does need to be on my bucket list.

Especially on a windy, not-so-spring-like day in Central Pennsylvania.

Friday Feature: Bringing Mindless Habits to Mind

It's summer, and so I'm doing a lot more reading than usual. Typically, I'm reading more than one book at a time, and I move from one to another depending upon what interests me and how much time I have to dig into whatever I'm reading. 

One theme that keeps popping up in what I'm reading is habit -- developing good ones, breaking bad ones and how they form in the first place -- which is how I ended up reading a Fast Company article about how a few common habits are perhaps worse for us than we think.

Don't get me wrong -- it's not a doom and gloom piece -- in fact, my favorite takeaway was the simple concept of allowing more time for a task in an effort to cut back on multitasking. Written in plain English by neuroscientist Tara Swart, the article points out that mindless habits can have a long-term impact on our minds -- and our bodies. 

The good news? Making a change can start with one simple step: paying attention to what we're doing rather than operating on autopilot. 

What will you strive to be mindful of today?

Friday Feature: Drawing a Line

I seem to be on a productivity roll -- at least when it comes to the articles that attract my attention. Last week, I wrote about a seven minute start to the day touted for increasing productivity (Tried it. Liked it.) but, in the same post, I commiserated with a commenter who'd had enough suggestions on productivity.

And yet, here I am again this week. Partly, it's January but, mostly, the semester starts next week and a lack of productivity is no longer an option. Perhaps most important, this article by Gwen Moran not only addresses the elephant in the business section from the start ("There is no shortage of advice about and strategies for performing optimally and enhancing productivity"), but goes on to share two pieces of information that I seriously need to take to heart: do one thing (the research on multitasking is clear: don't do it) and stop working all the time.

I can give you a million excuses about why my work days bleed into evenings and weekends, not the least of which is that neither writing nor teaching is not a nine-to-five job, but all that does is reveal how embarrassingly difficult it is for me to draw the line.

I'm working on it. Both of those things, as a matter of fact.

If you, too, are "working on it," check out the rest of Gwen's Fast Company article. Your top pieces of advice might be different than mine or you, like me, might just find a cool new name for your favorite kind of day ("serendipitous days"). Either way, making it a point to develop a better relationship between ourselves and our work is never a bad idea.

Friday Feature: Sometimes, Good Enough is Good Enough

This week, I've been perusing materials for the first year seminar I'll begin teaching in a few weeks. I've already taught the course several times, but I'm always on the lookout for updated materials to keep things interesting and current.

Ironically, it wasn't until I typed that last paragraph that I realized I'm doing exactly what today's article is about -- straddling that line between good enough and perfect.

What I started to say is that perfectionism is a topic I cover, and one that causes me to re-assess my own tendencies every time I teach it.

Like when the materials I already have aren't good enough and I go on a quest for newer, better information.

In life, there's always room for improvement, but it's also easy for us to exhaust ourselves trying to make everything perfect -- which is when it comes in handy to consider when we should aim for good enough rather than perfect.

While I'm reluctant to accept good enough most of the time, there's still wiggle room between good enough and perfect. In the case of my new materials, chunking my time so that I don't fall down the hyperlink rabbit hole helps; so, too, does figuring out what I'm looking to replace ahead of time. And, as Greene-Zapier points out in her article, sometimes, good enough is step one -- like the first draft of a blog post, manuscript or novel. Other times, our imperfection gives others permission to be imperfect, too.

So, why should we settle? Well, mostly because perfect is out of reach for we mere mortals but also because sometimes, good enough really is good enough.

Friday Feature: Less Laundry

I got so excited about an entire day stretching out before me that I forgot to write this post! I was writing, though -- one of the first things I do when I have a day that's not cut into chunks by other responsibilities is a writing sprint. I set the timer for an hour and, when it went off, I was nearly finished an article that had been running around in my head, so I set the timer again and finished the article.

And now, here I am.

Another thing that usually happens when I'm home all day is laundry. See how optimistically I wrote that? Laundry happens. It washes itself, leaps from the washer to the dryer from whence it folds/hangs itself up and puts itself away.

I wish.

Our family is small so our load is light -- relatively speaking anyway. (Sorry for all the puns). Still, it would be nice if all the time I spent on laundry could be spent on writing sprints instead.

And, based on this article in Fast Company, I'm not alone in wanting to lighten the load. Though I've often thought about the amount of water, electricity and detergent we use (because we pay for those things), I haven't given much thought to the impact washing-at-will has on the environment. I am definitely all for considering laundry "superfluous," particularly in the interest of preserving the planet. And, as a middle-aged woman who is hot more often than she is cold, I'm definitely interested in clothing that doesn't trap sweat.

Intrigued? So was I. Check out Elizabeth Segran's article -- maybe side-by-side with your water bill -- and imagine the possibilities.

Friday Feature: Me, Myself & I in the Future

I am a procrastinator. Not such a procrastinator that I don't get things done, or that I am constantly in stress mode because I'm working on everything at the very last possible minute, but definitely a dl-everything-else-imaginable-instead-of-what-I'm-supposed-to-be-doing procrastinator. John Perry called this structured procrastination, and I embraced this term with every I'll-get-to-it-in-a-minute bone in my body.

Turns out, I'm not alone and, according to an article by Becky Kane-Doist in Fast Company, it's all my brain's fault. Luckily, my brain and I inhabit the same body and I still have some semblance of control. Even if it's an uphill battle.

What it boils down to is how we think of our present selves vs. how we think of our future selves. Knowing this and understanding the ways in which we can make both selves happy, makes it easier to adjust our thinking and, consequently, our actions.

Suddenly, my love of the snooze alarm makes so much sense. And, while I'm pretty sure I'll continue that particular love-hate relationship, I definitely want to try some new strategies on my more wakeful self, if only to eliminate one of procrastination's favorite traveling companions.

Guilt.

Friday Feature: Yes or No?

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you might know that I've dubbed 2018 my Year of No. I have a slight (?!) tendency to overcommit and, while I think it's pretty deeply ingrained and not entirely undesirable, as I moved from 2017 into 2018, I felt a need to be more strategic in the commitments I made.

Though those around me would disagree, I think I'm making progress. I still say "yes" to too many things, but I do so thoughtfully and, as a result, I've reduced my knee-jerk yeses dramatically. If I take something on these days, I do so only after careful consideration -- most of the time, anyway.

Last week, I came across an article I wish I'd seen earlier in the year, one that, like my own resolution, took some of its inspiration from Shonda Rhimes' book, The Year of Yes. In "Ask Yourself These Questions Before You say 'Yes' or 'No' to Anything," Lisa Evans examines good reasons to say no and good reasons to say yes. While I wasn't nearly that methodical in my approach, I absolutely identified with one of her points, which was at the heart of my personal Year of No: "Yes" people need to beware of losing sight of their goals.

Are you a "yes" person or a "no" person? Either way, Evans' article is worth a read.

Friday Feature: Handling Information Overload

Do you feel overwhelmed? Too much information, too little time to take it all in?

Given the amount of information available to us, either by choice or seemingly floating freely, it's almost inevitable that we become overloaded from time to time, if not on a daily basis. More and more, research tells us that multitasking is not the answer; in fact, rather than helping us get more done, multitasking makes our brains work harder because we toggle between tasks.

In her article in Fast Company, Lisa Evans offers four low-tech, common-sense solutions to managing information overload. (Spoiler alert: one is to avoid multitasking). In addition to keeping the flow flowing, these strategies have other, broader payoffs as well.

How do you manage the constant, insistent flow of information?

Friday Feature: Tricks for Making the Most of Your Short-Term Memory

Sophomore year in college, I took a cognitive psychology class. It was, perhaps, my least favorite psych class. The professor was interesting, but the material (and thus, the textbook) was dry. One of the few things I remember about this class is that researchers found that our short-term memories hold 7 ± 2 (5 to 9) pieces of information. We can maximize that by storing things in chunks but, sooner rather than later, short term memory (also called "working memory") reaches capacity. When it comes to new information, last minute bits of information don't stand a chance of making it into long-term memory.

Memory researchers continue to debate the 7 ± 2 pieces of information theory; some believe our working memory holds even less information. Its name, however, also tells us what we need to do to keep important information front and center: we need to work with it.

In her piece, "This Common Mistake is Sabotaging Your Memory," Dr. Dani Gordon shares some tips on making the most of your short-term memory in an age of information overload. If you, like me, feel as though your memory is getting worse instead of better, it's worth a read, even if only for the reassurance that there's a reason that information, no matter how important, doesn't always seem to stick.

So, whether it's notepads or apps, your need for those memory aids isn't a sign that your memory is failing -- just that it needs the right tools to keep it working at peak efficiency.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Pass the Post-it Notes, please.

Friday Feature: Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever had a crisis of self-confidence? That nagging feeling that maybe you really can't live up to everyone's expectations, including (or maybe especially) your own?  Demoralizing though it can be, it happens to most people at one time or another. Strangely enough, the people most likely to fall prey to this Imposter Syndrome are people who actually are good at what they do.

Want to know how to overcome these nagging doubts? Check out this article from Fast Company.

And have a little faith.

Friday Feature: Tolerations

Do you have a list? I have a number of them and, as someone who writes about organization, I love a good article about how to replace the nagging presence of all those little to-do list items with happy little checkmarks.

There's a name for those nagging tasks, according to this Fast Company article by Gwen Moran. They're called tolerations, and as long as they linger on our lists, they sap our energy and our mental resources.

So, why do we tolerate them? Well, according to Moran, "They’re unpleasant enough that you want to avoid them, but pressing or disruptive enough that they have a negative impact on your daily life."

Sounds about right.

But there's a solution, one that sounds a bit like a Nike slogan, but begins with dumping them all onto paper so we can see what we're dealing with.

Do you have a list of tolerations? Check out Moran's article. It's a quick read with a valuable solution.

Trust me, you have time. Do it now.

Don't add it to the list.

Friday Feature: I Need Mindfulness and I Need it NOW!

It's been a really, really messed up week, to quote a song from a few years ago. I don't know about you, but I'm stuck between not wanting to watch the news and being unable to look away.

We could all use a distraction -- a way of stepping away from it all, even if for just a minute.

Mindfulness is one way of doing that. This practice of being fully present in a moment takes many forms. Some people pray or meditate. Others color or knit. Some do yoga.

But, until your office introduces lunchtime stress-reduction programs, you might have to take things into your own hands on those days when you're sitting at your desk feeling your blood pressure rise.

Enter a minute of mindfulness. This article from Fast Company (appropriately enough) focuses on a simple exercise you can do, no matter where you are, to increase your mindfulness and decrease your stress.

Wandering. Awareness. Return.

It's worth a shot. All you have to lose, after all, is your stress.

Why Read Fiction?

Photo: SCY via Pixabay

Last Friday, I featured an article that focused on five benefits of reading fiction. Although those of us who love to read don't need to be convinced, we can always use a juicy rationalization, especially when it's well-written.

In addition to being a fun read, the article got me thinking. As a writer, do I feel as though writing fiction provides any of those same benefits?

Enhanced reasoning skills? Check! Having to figure out how to get my characters into -- and out of -- a variety of situations definitely requires reasoning skills. Then, once I've done this, I need to decide whether or not my readers will find all of this believable, which requires me to reason from the other side of the equation.

Understanding of complex problems? Creating complications is one of the most fun parts of writing fiction, and this is the part where my characters tend to chime in. Determining the answer to the question, "what if this happened?" is a key element in the construction of plot, and is usually guaranteed to make things more complex.

Empathy? Last week, I wrote about how writers need to be able to imagine and defend people who are different from them, which is an important part of empathy. Doing this for characters we love is easy; doing it for characters with few redeeming qualities is definitely a stretch -- one that can move us from sympathy to empathy.

Stress relief? Only when I'm finished! Actually, when writing is going well (usually when I'm writing dialogue), it's a great, stress-free feeling. Overcoming the obstacles between me and the keyboard, or between me and the characters, or between me and the blank page is definitely more stress-inducing than stress-relieving.

Photo: Dariusz Sankowski via Pixabay

Strong role models? Sometimes. Some characters make good role models, while others are more like cautionary tales. But even antagonists have to rise to the occasion sometimes, proving that most of us have the capacity to be role models when we choose to be.

Clearly, the fundamental things apply, whether reading a book or writing one.

Read it again, Sam.

Friday Feature: Why Read Fiction?

One thing I always wish I had more time for is reading. I read a lot for my job, but it's mostly textbooks and student work. In my leisure time, what there is of it, I tend to read non-fiction relevant to the classes I teach, along with articles and blogs that keep me in touch with what's going on in the world.

But in the summer, I make it a point to read novels. As a writer who's picky about the way words play out on a page, I discard quite a few books before I find "the one" that pulls me in and dares me to stop reading.

And, oh, how wonderful that is.

I know I'm not alone. Still, it's always nice to find support for this pursuit, especially in unexpected places, like Fast Company's article, "Five Ways Reading Fiction Makes You Better at Your Job."

Far less didactic than it sounds, the article briefly touches on how things like reasoning ability and empathy are strengthened by the simple process of reading a book. Kind of like having your cake and eating it too.

Definitely not a bad way to spend a weekend.