Friday Feature: Are We in Charge of Our Own Happiness?

 As an instructor of positive psychology, I've internalized the research-based conclusion that 40% of our happiness is within our personal control, and only 10% is based on our circumstances (the other half is genetics). This made sense to me, in that a basic tenet of therapy is that our mental health is impacted by how we frame things, that is, what we make of the circumstances we are in, and what we choose to do about them.

But when I read this article from one of my favorite sources of information on positive psychology, I began rethinking these statistics I've taken for granted, and asking myself the same question raised by the author. 

How much control do we have over our own happiness? 

And do our circumstances really play such a small role?

In my child development classes, I joke that if we had a nickel for every time I mentioned the nature-nurture interaction, we could all buy a drink at Starbucks. Why then, would I believe that circumstances, i.e. environment (part of nurture) plays anything less than a starring role in our happiness saga?

Right now, I'm listening to a book by NPR reporter Nina Totenberg (more on that next week). In the chapter I just finished, she said that her job as a reporter is to make the reader think. In addition, as a reporter, she often found herself going into her research with one opinion only to emerge with another. 

This article had that impact on me. Fortunately, it has so many hyperlink rabbit holes embedded in it that there will be plenty of opportunities for me (and my students) to dig deeper. How, for example, did the research that drew the 10% conclusion define "circumstances"? And, returning to my first paragraph above, how much of our happiness and well-being are connected to the situation itself, how much is due to what we make of it and/or choose to do about it, and how much is a product of the synergistic interaction between these two almost inextricably intertwined variables? 

Psychology is an inexact science. Yesterday's research, if it wishes to remain a fact of the field, needs to be consistently upheld by today's research. Yesterday's research didn't account for a worldwide pandemic that would plunge us into common circumstances yielding impacts beyond anything we could imagine.

But positive psychology research also supports the concept of post-traumatic growth. Finding its footing in the early 21st century, it offered up another horrific circumstance: September 11. And the research conducted in the shadow of those circumstances was a testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. 

How much control do we have over our own happiness? I suspect the answer is different for each of us, especially since genetics is responsible for about half of the equation. Should we dismiss circumstances as a mere detail? Not at all. And, in fact, there are developmental theories (and plenty of research science) to attest to the fact that we are, in at least some small way, a product of our circumstances. 

But we are also rational (mostly), determined human beings with the power to effect change. And, from where I sit, what percentage of the pie that consists of -- and whether or not that changes from day to day -- is immaterial. It's what we do with that power to change not just our own lives and circumstances, but those of other inhabitants of this world that will make the difference.

If you take the time to read the article, I'd love to chat. There's a really good chance I'll still be thinking about it for quite some time, mentally thanking its author for making me think about not just concepts and circumstances, but consequences and what it means to use whatever percentage of influence we have for good.

Friday Feature: Prescribing Wellness

 In my first year seminar and positive psychology classes, I often assign my students positive psychology practices -- things like savoring something, performing an action mindfully and listing gratitudes. All of these are things that research has shown to be beneficial, but, ironically, they are often the first to go when we are stressed. 

As you read this, you may be feeling the stress that comes with the holidays and/or the end of the year. You might think you don't have time for frivolous things as you frantically work your way through your to-do list.

But some of these things take just a moment. Taking a deep breath or sitting still, closing your eyes for one minute and focusing on your breathing can be restorative, and helpful for more than the moment it takes to do them.

I'm not alone in my belief in the power of these practices. A handful of doctors at Sutter Health in California have put their prescription pads to use for more than just pharmaceuticals and have begun prescribing wellness practices for their patients.

Maybe you're rolling your eyes. Or maybe you think this sounds great but right now you have 27 more gifts to wrap and 2700 more cookies to bake. 

Duly noted. But after the hubbub dies down, do yourself a favor and read this article from Greater Good Magazine about those physicians and their prescriptions. If you like what you read, maybe choose one or two of their recommendations and try them out during the week between Christmas and New Year's. If you find them useful, and you're the sort of person who makes New Year's resolutions, maybe commit to one or two for a longer period of time. 

Chances are you've spent the better part of the last month finding perfect gifts for other people and making preparations for celebrations. Isn't it time to celebrate you and give yourself a gift of peace? If the last two years don't warrant that, I don't know what does.

May your days be merry and bright, with a dose of peace and a heaping helping of good mental and physical health.

Friday Feature: Gratitude

Week one of the semester is over and I'm tired, but grateful. In part, it's because of my students (and the fact that I had a reasonably successful week), but it's also because I've got gratitude on the brain.

One of the courses I'm teaching this semester is Positive Psychology and, each week, one of the things I assign is a positive psychology exercise. Next week's is "Three Blessings," a gratitude exercise, so I spent some time this afternoon looking for supplemental readings that feature Dr. Robert Emmons, often cited as the world's leading scientific expert on gratitude. After clicking around for awhile, I finally settled on this one from the Harvard Business Review, in part because it includes some good questions for those who want to be grateful, but find it to be a struggle, especially now.

A close contender was this article from New Harbinger Publications blog that focused on some of the specifics (besides the obvious) of why we can find gratitude so difficult under trying circumstances but, in the end, The HBR article ticked a few more boxes for me. 

The act of being grateful is at once so simple and so powerful and it's something that not only becomes easier with practice, but yields enormous benefits, including better sleep and better physical health as well. 

What are you grateful for today?

Your brain on gratitude
Photo by Glenn Fox via Big Think

Friday Feature: Toxic Positivity

I'm a big fan of positive psychology. I love the concept of expanding on what's right instead of focusing what's wrong. 

But the truth is, we need both. Life is not always rosy and sometimes we need to acknowledge the bad in order to get to the good. In other words, we really can have too much of a good thing. But, up until yesterday, I never knew there was a name for it.

Toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity is in evidence when we focus so insistently on the good that we fail to acknowledge any down side to a situation, or even to life itself. According to an article in the Huffington Post by Brittany Wong, toxic positivity is rising during the pandemic in which we find ourselves fueled, in part, by social media posts that tell us if we're not seeing time at home and social distancing as opportunities for self-improvement, then we're doing it wrong. 

But humans aren't machines, and failing to acknowledge sadness, loss and fear doesn't make those feelings go away, nor does sweeping them under the carpet with the broom of productivity or vacuuming them up with a positive attitude.

It's essential that we recognize that sadness and fear are a part of the human condition, something that no reputable positive psychologist would dispute. Productivity and positive attitudes can be tools in coping with those emotions if we use them to keep ourselves from descending into a dark place and taking up residence there, but they aren't a cure. And, when we use these tools to shove our feelings into a closet and lock them away, that's toxic. The feelings aren't gone; they're just locked behind a door waiting to accost us when we turn the knob and release them.

Life is complicated. We are complicated. We are good and bad, happy and sad, light and darkness. Our goal should be to acknowledge and come to terms with both sides of our complex selves and find a balance between them. Only then can we build the resilience that is necessary to hold on to mental health in a time that threatens to rob us of it. 

At least that's what I think.

Friday Feature: Projecting Positivity

This semester, I'm teaching a course in positive psychology. As you can imagine, it's a lot of fun. What's not to like about going to work and focusing on ways to make ourselves happier and to make life better? It also helps to have a class made up of students who want to be there and who, every class, raise excellent questions and insights.

Curious about what those life-improving things might be? Check out this quick read from Happify on "13 Proven Ways to Project Positive Energy."

Happy Friday!

Friday Feature: Mindfulness, Dan Bova and Blue Lobsters

Standing in line at CVS, I fell prey to a last minute purchase. I've been immersing myself in positive psychology out of both personal and professional interest and, when I saw the Mindfulness magazine, I had to get it.

I've been reading it slowly, so I could savor it (it's more interesting than the journal article I'm reading for class). The other day, I read Dan Bova's laugh-out-loud piece about trying to become a morning person and I really, really wanted to share it, but I couldn't find a digital version. So I searched Dan Bova online and I'm sharing his blue lobster piece instead.

Really.

Photo: Time Shop

The two articles are completely unrelated, connected only by their author. But, when I find an author whose voice I like, I want to read more.

Even if they write about crustaceans.

Meanwhile, my impulse buy is pictured on the right. Just in time for summer, it has good articles about slowing down and savoring everything from moments to food to life.