It's funny how you don't notice - or at least I don't notice - faith growth happening. Maybe it's because it happens in such small increments.
When I talk to my kids at school about things like worry and grief, we talk about how time is a key healer, but it heals in such tiny increments that we sometimes don't feel the healing on a day-to-day basis. And then, all of a sudden, one day you look back and think, "Wow. I'm not as sad as I was two weeks ago," or "I'm not worrying about that any more."
I guess maybe the same kind of thing is true with faith - that it grows a little tiny bit at a time, so you don't always see the growth when it's happening, but then all of a sudden, one day, it's there.
Last week was a phenomenal week. Two really positive nibbles on two separate writing projects that look like they might actually turn into something. My first reaction was ecstasy, followed closely by panic. I'd started to make some headway - finally - on yet another project where progress had been elusive, and I got this news just as I was starting to hit my stride. How would I do all of this? How could I possibly write three books at one time?
And then it occurred to me that God wouldn't have dumped all these things into my lap unless He had a plan. And that maybe my job was - for once - to just be quiet and listen.
And so when I doubt whether or not I can do it - and I'm sure once the glow wears off, I will - I need to remember that if I've been given these opportunities, I've been given them for a reason.
If somebody had said this to me five years ago, depending on the day, I would have either rolled my eyes or thought, "Wow. What it must be like to have faith like that."
I wasn't aware of my faith growth until - all of a sudden one day, wow! - it was there. Now I can't say for sure that I'll feel this unwavering certainty every day, but I will know that if I need it, it's there somewhere because somehow, when I wasn't paying attention little by little, my faith grew.
So I'm going to do my job, I guess, and keep nurturing it. And try to remember to be still.