Taking Charge

Today, I decided to take the morning off. Admittedly, a rather large chunk of the morning was already gone when I decided to do this. As a non-morning person who stays up much too late without the constraints of getting up and actually leaving the house to nudge her to bed at a reasonable hour, I've been an even later riser lately than I usually am.

Still, I determined that what was left of the morning was mine to do with as I saw fit. No deadlines. No e-mail, no planning, no shoulds. I had spent more than ten hours of my Sunday on work-related projects and claiming a small chunk of a prime weekday time when I'm not yet exhausted and cranky seemed not only reasonable, but justified.

Something about this decision -- this assertion of control -- was freeing on this gray, rainy, tenth day of at-homeness. I walked right past things that didn't interest me and sought out those more likely to lift my mood. In short, I bypassed all the things that I'll eventually add to my to-do list, poured myself a glass of iced tea, and scanned my shelves for just the right book.

I settled on two of them. I kicked things off with some lighthearted musings from Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella (a beach book in both theme and place of purchase -- an extra bonus) and after a few of these, moved on to one of my favorite happiness researchers.

Slowly, despite the weather, the news, the politics, my fears, and my self-imposed social isolation, my internal fog began to lift. In part, it was the material but it was also the act of taking charge.

I don't like feeling helpless and I have little patience for pity parties that go on longer than about five minutes, yet there I was. One small step -- a reminder that I was in charge of my day, my mood, and everything within my immediate environment -- was enough to set me back on track. A little bit of an escape, a little bit of knowledge and a little bit of downtime.

I love what I do which, under normal circumstances, makes it all too easy to spend a massive chunk of my waking hours working. And I want to do what I do well, which adds more than a touch of perfectionism to the equation. Factor in being homebound and subjected to a slew of news items and pandemic-related emails floating across my computer screen while I work and it's a recipe for an internal grayness that rivals the sky outside my window.

But pity parties aren't my thing. Instead, that last sentence inspired me to take one more action before I get serious about the days work.

Get the news off my computer dock.

Nothing like exerting a little influence over one's day.

Friday Feature: Happiness and The Wizard of Oz

As I set out to find an article for today's post, I had a few criteria in mind.

It couldn't have anything to do with the coronavirus. In fact, I'd prefer it didn't even start with the letter C.

It couldn't be depressing, frightening or otherwise cringe-worthy. (See what I mean about C-words!)

It should be uplifting, but not saccharine; hopeful, but not preachy.

So, I googled one of my favorite positive psychology gurus, certain he'd have something.

He didn't disappoint.

And so, without further fanfare, I bring you Shawn Achor's "5 Things You Need to be Happy," all of which can be found in the relative comfort of your own home.

At a time when happiness perhaps seems far away, I find it comforting to know that relative happiness remains within reach or, to quote The Wizard of Oz, "Everything you were looking for was right there with you all along.

Stay safe and be happy.

Friday Feature: What's Your Default Stress Response?

Last week, I reposted a meme on Facebook that rang true for many of my friends:

via Purple Clover on Facebook

I don't think I do this -- at least not most of the time -- but I do sometimes worry about the way I manage my stress. Am I acknowledging it? Obsessing over it? Letting it take over my body in ways I don't think I am?

I think I do a reasonable job of handling life's little curve balls, so I was really interested to read Michelle Gielan's article, "You Can Improve Your Default Response to Stress." Gielan and her husband, Shawn Achor, are happiness researchers and part of the team behind the GoodThink Inc. website. I've been a big fan of Achor's since I saw his TED Talk ("The Happy Secret to Better Work") and I love the upbeat and practical tone of the site's (short) articles.

As it turns out, I do manage stress reasonably well, but I also have a tendency to catastrophize, usually about things that aren't likely to be catastrophic.

Alexas_Fotos via Pixabay

This wasn't exactly news to me, but it served as a reminder to dial back the drama and, instead, use the de-stressing tools that are in my arsenal. In addition, being aware of my own mild tendency (relatively speaking) to make mountains out of molehills can remind me that I'm more vulnerable to other people's rabbit holes than I think I am, and should, perhaps, learn to find paths that go around them instead of through them.

Stress is, after all, an unavoidable part of life. And, while we can't make it go away, knowing we can do something about the way we respond to it can, perhaps, make it a little less stressful.