Time to Think About Time

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One afternoon a few weeks back, I hit the wall. Hard. I wasn't entirely surprised as I'd been zooming toward it at full speed for quite some time. Arriving home after teaching, I made myself a sandwich and settled down to take a little break before digging into writing and planning and everything else on my to do list.

And I got up two hours later.

That same morning, I'd been talking with my students about the evils of "should," so I won't go into what I should or should not have done. I just knew I was nursing a headache and there was not a single thing on my to-do list that held any appeal whatsoever, so a break seemed like the reset I needed. 

When I re-joined the world after lunch and a nap, my motivation was still at a low ebb, but my headache had subsided. Slowly, I baby-stepped my way back into my day and, more rested, I actually managed to get a few things accomplished. My day ended much later than I'd anticipated, but that flexibility is one of the wonderful advantages of working from home. 

Or is it?

That's what I tell myself when I take a break mid-afternoon, then work until 9 PM to make up for it. Maybe, though, I should be asking myself why I need a mid-afternoon break so badly that it turns into a two-hour nap.

Last Friday, I wrote about a book I'm reading called Time Smart. I flew through the early pages but, as I continue on, I've begun savoring it, pausing here and there to let the information about time poverty and time affluence sink in. Some of the strategies are things I already do, as are some of the mindsets. Others lead me to step back and consider -- and sometimes re-consider -- not only my schedule but also the way I look at time.

Ironically, I'm reading this book because I discovered it right around the time I'd promised myself to make more time to read for fun. This effort was part of a larger goal to restore some balance to a schedule that leads me to (figuratively) run into walls and (literally) nap for two hours. Though I know (and preach) that self-care is important, experiencing the sense of having more time when I create leisure time is a whole different feeling. 

Paying closer attention to how I use my time has led me to the realization that even my leisure time is often spent in pursuits I'd describe as productive more than relaxing. Although part of that is simply how I'm wired, it also explains why I (figuratively) hit the wall more often than I'd like. 

It's fascinating, this consideration of time -- something both finite and elastic. My hope is that actively contemplating both time itself and how I spend it will lead me to spend my time more wisely.

And keep me from crashing into walls -- literally and figuratively.