Gratitude in the New Normal

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My daughter is home from college.

The house is messier and noisier, our routines have been disrupted and it's all good because my daughter is home. Morphing from an empty nest to a full one has become second nature, the new normal of parenting a young adult.

For our family, new normal is the theme of the season. Last summer, my mom lost her battle with cancer, and so we are heading into our first holiday season without her. Dreading the empty place at the table, I'm turning my focus instead to the things I am grateful for (in no particular order).

• A few days away from classes, even if grading papers is still part of the package.

• The young adults -- my daughter, my niece, my nephew and his girlfriend -- who will bring a different kind of energy to this Thanksgiving.

• My dad.

• The opportunity to see my sister's new house and to sit down and catch up with her.

• My husband.

• Thanksgiving food, prepared by my brother-in-law, (for whom I am also grateful), who is unruffled by the task of getting a multitude of different dishes to the table. 

• The inauguration of the Christmas season with the annual playing of the Johnny Mathis Christmas CD after dinner.

All of this -- my mom's legacy -- is what we're thankful for this Thanksgiving. I wish she were here to celebrate with us, but I'm guessing that not having to do the cooking is just heavenly.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Friday Freebie: Why Be Grateful?

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As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm finding it easy to be grateful. Though I love my job, three days (plus a weekend) without classes will give me a chance to catch my breath and spend some time with family without feeling as though I should be doing something else. I could just as easily focus on this break as the calm before the storm that is December -- a time when semester conclusions and holiday beginnings collide in a frenzy of opposing forces -- but that would suck the joy out of not only the break itself, but also the anticipation of fun, food and relaxation. No one wants that.

Please understand -- I don't mean to be preachy. I realize that I'm lucky. I don't have to plow through a field of terrible circumstances to find the one grain of happiness that remains. I have nothing but admiration for those who have the fortitude to do just that. Far from being insincere, they know something that many of us don't.

Gratitude reaps rewards of its own. Not only does it make us feel better, even if only temporarily, it carries health benefits as well.

But don't take my word for it. Click here to read about the benefits of gratitude, take a gratitude quiz and find out how to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

'Tis the season, after all.

An Attitude of Gratitude

As I began contemplating this blog last night, my daughter was asleep upstairs and my husband had fallen asleep on the sofa in the family room. Snow (now falling outside) was in the forecast, putting a damper on our travel plans, but there were -- and are -- many things to be thankful for, and the two most important ones were the ones dozing in various rooms of the house.

It's nice to be part of a family that's truly disappointed when the weather interferes with our plans to get together; I'm grateful that my family looks for reasons to be together, rather than considering family occasions a chore.

Although it's an obvious time of the year to take stock of what we're thankful for, that doesn't make it any less important to do so. There are the big things, of course -- my family and friends, my (often messy, less than perfect) home, the health, safety and well-being of those I care about. But there are also small, day-to-day things that make life a little nicer and therefore deserve to be celebrated.

This year, the little things I'm thankful for include:

• the opportunity to be a published novelist. It's been a wild ride, and one I'm looking forward to getting on again, especially now that I know where the seat belts are.
• school breaks. A day away from the day-to-day is a gift. So often, I fill those days with things I need to do. Today, the snow has made sure that I don't fall into that trap. I'm a big old snow chicken when it comes to driving, so I canceled all my appointments, and got something to be really grateful for -- a peaceful day at home.
• a schedule with built-in flexibility. I need some structure in my life, and classes and office hours provide that. But, aside from those times, I have a lot of leeway to decide what I want to do when. I'm still working on finding the right balance, but I have a feeling that's a lifelong endeavor.
• sleep. The older I get, the more I both appreciate and respect the need for it. Sleep does amazing things for us, including helping us take out the mental trash. Makes me feel much less guilty when I curl up for a late afternoon nap.
• new sheets. We recently got new linens for our bed, including soft, cozy jersey (no coincided that I love them) sheets. As the weather grows colder, this wonderful, warm bedding makes it tougher to get up in the mornings (always a challenge for a night owl anyway). But they're so worth it.
• a job I love. Need I say more? Thank you again, Lori Myers, for pointing me in the right direction.
• enough. When I retired, I was afraid I was putting this in jeopardy. Leaving the party early means you miss a few things, and in my case, income was one of them. I'd like to take credit for being savvy enough (there's that word again) to make this happen, but I have no doubt that this one, like many others, is by the grace of God, because we not only have enough, we often have more than we need or deserve.

Okay, so maybe some of those things weren't so small after all. Wishing you the happiest of Thanksgivings, with blessings great and small.

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