A View from My Tree

When my husband and I were newlyweds, we started the tradition of buying a Christmas ornament to add to the tree each year. Most years, it had some significance -- a milestone, a trip, an event -- but other years, it was just something we liked. If I count the "First Christmas Together" ornaments from before we were married, we have nearly three decades of these annual decorations, marking everything Baby's First Christmas to a twenty-something re-discovering Harry Potter.

I used to insist that the ornaments went on the tree in order but the impatience of a young assistant (our daughter) and, eventually, the sheer number of ornaments made that a tad untenable (read: sucked the joy out of decorating and made people want to throw the ornaments at Mom instead of putting them on the tree).

This week, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites. The first batch is below, and I'll share a few more on Wednesday. 

And I'd love it if you'd do the same. Let's make the comments a collection of Christmas joy (along with meaningful menorahs) that everyone can see, especially in a season where actual, physical visits are a risk many of us aren't taking. Remember progressive dinners? Let's create a virtual progressive parade of ornaments.  

I'll start :-)

1994: We bought a house! This little plastic/resin ornament from the Current catalog is one of the oldest on the tree. I wrote the date on the back in gold Sharpie. That little starter house? Still home.

2009: We went on a cruise! The cruise itself was a blast, but the best part of it was going on the cruise with another family. At the time, we were just fellow basketball parents who thought a cruise would be fun, but our family now counts theirs among our closest friends. Now that's a souvenir worth keeping.

2000: The first year the Queen Mom and King Dad ornaments graced the tree. Twenty years later, Mom and Dad still have to put their own respective ornaments on the tree. It's tradition.

2017: We lost my mom, Joy, to cancer. This ornament keeps her in our hearts and on our tree so she can hang with us while we open presents.

Handmade with love ornaments are always a staple. This one's from 2002.

2016 (I think): When I bought this ornament to make my daughter's college (the Q stands for Quinnipiac University) a part of our tree, she all but rolled her eyes (you know how cool college students are :-) This year, she was the one to find it a spot of honor on the tree.

Bring it on! Show me your ornaments. Comment, or just post a picture if you prefer. Either way, let's share some joy. 

Friday Feature: Love and Misbehavior

As a writer, I appreciate steady gigs and, it's even nicer when those writing opportunities are with publications I enjoy reading and writing for.

One of those publications is Today's Catholic Teacher. I finally got a chance to read through my winter issue the other night and soak in what those whose expertise lies outside mine (coding, anyone?) had to say. But I must admit that my favorite piece was the one that touched my retired counselor heart.

Entitled "Manage Misbehavior," this short piece by Sister Patricia McCormack had, at its heart, the concept that children's misbehavior is motivated not by a desire to torment adults, but by needs those children -- and we adults -- have. It encouraged the reader to consider children's needs to feel loved, in control of their world, competent, trustworthy and treated fairly, especially when they show those needs by acting out.

It's easy, especially at this busy time of year, to forget that children care about these things. As we run from one errand to the next, kids in tow, checking things off our lists in the countdown to Christmas, it's easy to be distracted or even annoyed our children, no matter how much we love them. But if we stop a minute to think about how we feel, chances are, they're feeling the same way. Frustrated? Tired? Overwhelmed? Out of control?

Yep. Been there. And the last thing I need when I feel that way is to be yelled at, belittled or drug on fourteen more errands.

Years ago at Christmastime, one of the (now-retired) priests in our parish talked about the traffic at Christmas, and how easy it is to lose our tempers. He told a very funny, very human story and, with perfect comedic timing, encouraged us to (pause) pray for the person in front of us who was making us feel like doing anything but.

'Tis the season. To be jolly, to be frustrated, to be overcaffeinated, over-sugared, over the moon, under the weather. If we stop for a moment to consider the unmet need of the person -- especially the little person -- whose behavior sucks the Christmas spirit right out of us, perhaps we can respond in a manner that's, well, what we'd want someone to do for us if we were in those shoes.

It's not easy, but it leads to a lot fewer regrets in this hectic season.

Right now, Sister Patricia's article is only available in the print publication, 

but here's a link to some of her other pieces.

Friday Feature: Holiday Stressbusters

In the musical, She Loves Me, there's a song called "Twelve Days to Christmas" that counts down the shopping days until Christmas. As the song progresses, it becomes faster and more frenzied, concluding that "some of the family may not get a Christmas gift at all." Performing it in high school, I found it fun and funny. As an adult, I find it all too real.

Feeling a bit frenzied yourself ? If so, this article from Happify about holiday stress busters might be worth a read. Many of the ideas are common sense and familiar, but still, it's nice to get a reminder of the ways we should take care of ourselves.

Here's hoping you, like the first set of shoppers in the song, are one of the people "with time to spare, who shop at their convenience."

Win a Book!

Last year, after Christmas, I wrote my Holiday Superlatives. Today, I'm going to have my characters answer some of the same questions, along with a few more I've dreamed up.

Despite the December weather, Angel, Marita, Charli and Bets have agreed to join me on the porch swing (in the cold!) and answer the questions. Can you tell who said what? The first three people to correctly attribute 8 or more answers will win a Kindle copy of Chasing a Second Chance.

To enter, email your answers to me at jerseywriter@yahoo.com. That way, no one else can peek at your brilliant responses :-)

Win me!!

Best Christmas advice: Enjoy every moment. It goes by too fast.

Best Christmas attitude: I will not let other people steal my joy.

Favorite Christmas song:  Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Best Christmas present: My daughter.

Favorite Christmas tradition: Decorating the tree.

Christmas songs I'll miss: Santa Baby

Christmas song I wish I'd heard but haven't yet: Breath of Heaven.

Christmas task I always put off till the last minute: Shopping!

All I want for Christmas is... for everyone to get along.

Best gift of the season: Time.

What do you think? Who said what? Send me an email with your answers so I can send you a Christmas present!

Tis Not the Season to Be Crochety

annca via Pixabay

I never wanted to be a crochety old lady. Still don't. And while I'm not there yet on either mood or age, I'm beginning to understand how people get there.

Change is, as they say, hard. While I recognize this in the big things (it's hard to miss when you work as a counselor), it's only recently that I've begun to realize that, even for adults, seemingly small changes can be hard, too.

Most of us pride ourselves on taking charge of our time. We make lists, create schedules, craft routines.

And then life happens. We can either adjust cheerfully or we can become...

Crochety.

Opportunities to land on one side of this line or the other seem to arise with even greater frequency during the holiday season. We make plans to work our way through our lists, but some days, everything from traffic to the common cold seems to conspire against us. Before we know it, holiday cheer is replaced by...

Crochetiness.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend the season grousing and griping. But, by the same token, I know that actually celebrating Christmas on time requires a certain amount of adherence to lists, schedules and routines.

So, this season, I'm going to try to keep the main goal -- a merry Christmas -- in mind. I'm going to try to keep my priorities straight and practice being flexible, not rigid; cheerful, not crochety. Instead of gritting my teeth when I have to toss my best laid plans into the air like so much confetti, I'm going to tackle the big stuff and hope the small stuff, like the confetti, lands in places where its sparkle enhances the celebration.

We'll see how it goes.

Friday Feature: Family

Feeling a little crazed? I am. The semester is drawing to a close and the Christmas season is revving up. There's much to do -- even more than usual.

Which makes it even more important to keep track of priorities.

In keeping with both the craziness of the season and the notion of keeping first things first, today's read is actually a slide show of quotes about families. Some I scrolled right past, others made me stop and smile.

I hope you find at least one that inspires you.

When Happy + Holidays Isn't Happening

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Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! How 'bout those Starbucks cups?

Wait -- don't go away. If there's no happy in your holiday, no merry in your Christmas and you couldn't care less what Starbucks puts on their cups, this post is for you.

What if you simply can't make the holidays happy?

Yesterday, when I got the bill to repair my daughter's water- damaged laptop, happy would not be the word I'd use to describe my Christmas countdown. In fact, as the person who knocked over the water that damaged the laptop, I had a pretty nice self-pity party.

And then I remembered. It's only money. Not that money doesn't matter -- especially now, as families attempt to deck halls and trim trees and light candles and purchase presents -- but it matters less than a lot of things. People, for example.

Sometimes, we can't just write a check and make everything all better. Even if money is no object, no matter how big the check, it won't bring back an estranged spouse, a lost child, a beloved parent. And while it can be tempting to just close our eyes and take a long winter's nap until the holidays pass, finding the bittersweet spot between what happy holidays has always meant and what it means this year might just be a better idea.

But don't take my word for it. Take it from someone who knows. In her Huffington Post blog, Dr. Gloria Horsley shares not only the slow thaw that is holiday grief (over a period of years), but her own experience as well. More than thirty years after the death of her son, she's still lighting candles in his memory, but now, it's more about remembering in love than wincing in pain.

If your idea of decking the halls requires these,
you're not alone.
(Photo: Pixabay)

This Christmas, I'm feeling blessed. Aside from the hole in my checking account to restore my daughter's damaged laptop, life is good.

But just because that's true for me -- this year -- that doesn't mean it's true for everyone. 'Tis the season to be kind, whether it means driving a little less aggressively or understanding when someone can't return our smile or well wishes. Go forth and spread joy!

But aim for compassion when others can't do the same.

Wrapping and Reading

Photo from Magic 106.1 FM, Guelph, Canada
via Facebook

When my daughter was small, we started a book tradition at our house. I can't remember where I found the idea -- it might have been Family Fun magazine -- but I do seem to remember that it was just a front-of-book snippet by a parent. "Just" a snippet turned into a tradition that, at our house, lasted until my daughter was into her teens. And when a writer friend posted the photo at left on her Facebook page earlier this month, it had "Saturday Special" written all over it. As a bonus, it makes a marvelous extension to yesterday's post.

The process is a bit time consuming up front, but very simple. In November, gather all of your child's Christmas-themed books. Then, sometime before December 1, wrap each book individually. Beginning December 1, your child can open a book a day (or a book a week, or somewhere in between, depending upon the number of books you have available). Secretly purchasing new books I could add to the pile was fun, too, and less expensive than it would seem, as many old favorites endured for years.

My daughter loved coming downstairs each morning and opening a "new" book, and, as a bonus, it started each day with reading. Although mornings worked well for us, you could just as easily do this after dinner (or before dinner to procure some late afternoon peace and quiet), or at bedtime.

Once all of the books have been opened and the season has passed, gather them up again when you gather up the decorations and put them in a special box (labeled or unique so you can find them quickly in November). If you're feeling really industrious, you can wrap a few (or all of them) before you put them away, saving yourself some time at the outset, but choose carefully. You may find that your child deems some of this year's books too babyish next year.

Merry Christmas -- I've just given you an excuse to acquire more books. Then again, we authors do that.

Because there's no rule that says all the Christmas books have to be for your kids.

Thank you to Carole Brown, who posted this photo on her Facebook page, 

bringing back many lovely memories.

Friday Freebie: Gifting Books

Photo by George Hodan via publicdomainpictures.net

It occurred to me sometime last week that I really need to put Christmas shopping on my to-do list. It's not that I haven't started -- it's just that I haven't been to many -- okay any -- stores yet with the primary intention of doing specific Christmas shopping. I've taken advantage of Cyber Monday and picked up a few things here and there, but some things just require visits to the store.

Today's timely blog post by two of my author friends reminded me that Christmas shopping can be fun for me, too. Not only does the post talk about books and bargains, but it also talks about authors and writing. More than a few of my favorite things.

How about you? How's your Christmas shopping going? Let me know if you need a book for someone's stocking :-)

Saturday Special: Holiday Hubbub

publicdomainpictures.net

Perhaps you're one of those folks who Christmas shops all year long. Or maybe you're a serious Black Friday shopper and you spent yesterday making lists and checking them twice.

Maybe you're spending today patronizing local businesses in honor of Small Business Saturday. Or perhaps you're creating lists for Cyber Monday when you can shop from home in your pajamas.

No matter your shopping style, it's the time of year when tracking down gifts becomes a necessity for most of us. And shopping is just the tip of the holiday to-do iceberg.

Fortunately, although the holidays are creeping ever closer (as several of my Facebook friends enjoy pointing out on a regular basis), there's plenty of time to tackle things in an organized fashion. If the mere thought of getting ready for the holidays leaves you in a panic, check out this article by organizing guru Julie Morgenstern, who always manages to make planning seem not just possible, but palatable as well.

Not ready to tackle holiday planning yet? Just below Julie's article on holiday planning is one on organizing your mail.

Whatever you organize today, do it with STYLE. :-)