Work

 Every semester, it takes me a little while to adjust to my schedule. This semester is a weird one. I'm teaching only one class, something that hasn't happened in quite some time, and my schedule, such as it is, feels a little surreal. I'm not complaining, mind you -- the extra time to myself is nice, but I haven't quite figured out what to do with it. I also haven't decided whether I want to impose some structure on my days off, or establish some sort of routine (e.g. some days are for teaching and related pursuits and others are for writing) or to keep things flexible. 

I've started out with the flexible route but, lately, I've been feeling rather unsatisfied at the ends of my days, as though I haven't accomplished anything. Over the weekend, it hit me that I tend to equate schoolwork (and, to a lesser extent, writing) with productivity and when I end a day having done neither, I seem to feel as though I've wasted time.

So, the answer is to work more, right?

Um, no.

Heading into this semester, I knew I needed a reset. I was running on fumes and needed some space to create, whether it was writing, course content, or creative endeavors pursued just for fun. And yet, when I take the time to do things just for fun, I end up berating myself for not spending my time more productively.

Where, oh where, is that magical middle ground? 

I'll let you know when I find it.

Last week, I did a presentation on the concept of WIN (What's Important Now?), taken from the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown. This week, I need to practice what I preach. When I catch myself "wasting time," I need to ask myself, "what's important now?" Sometimes, this question will cut short my procrastination and lead me to the thing(s) I need to do. Other times, WIN will be the thing I'm actually doing, and I need to acknowledge that. Just because something isn't work in the way I've come to define it doesn't detract from the meaning and enjoyment I derive from it. Down time is, after all, a key part of a balanced schedule.

This semester, I'm learning that needing a reset and actually figuring out what that looks like are two very different things. And, with retirement on the horizon, I'm paying special attention to the lessons I'm learning now about how I want to spend my time, particularly what makes me feel satisfied at the end of a day. When work in the traditional sense is no longer part of my day, I'll need to concentrate on the value of other things.

And so, I've decided to consider what I'm doing now "research" -- information gathering that will build a bridge from this quiet semester to the other side of the busy semesters that will follow before I finally land in the quiet space of retirement. So, at the end of a day where no "work" was done, maybe I need to ask myself what else I did that gave me a sense of meaning and accomplishment.

One thing's for sure: I can't imagine that I'll be bored in retirement. But my current research is teaching me that maybe, just maybe, I need to lighten up a little bit, too.