Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! How 'bout those Starbucks cups?Wait -- don't go away. If there's no happy in your holiday, no merry in your Christmas and you couldn't care less what Starbucks puts on their cups, this post is for you.
What if you simply can't make the holidays happy?
When I originally wrote this post, I was stressing out over a water- damaged laptop. In fact, as the person who knocked over the water that damaged the laptop, I was having a pretty nice self-pity party.
And then I remembered. It's only money. Not that money doesn't matter -- especially now, as families attempt to deck halls and trim trees and light candles and purchase presents -- but it matters less than a lot of things.
People, for example.
Sometimes, we can't just write a check and make everything all better. Even if money is no object, no matter how big the check, it won't bring back an estranged spouse, a lost child, a beloved parent. And while it can be tempting to just close our eyes and take a long winter's nap until the holidays pass, finding the bittersweet spot between what happy holidays has always meant and what it means this year might be the best we can do.
But don't take my word for it. In her Huffington Post blog, Dr. Gloria Horsley shares not only the slow thaw that is holiday grief (over a period of years), but her own experience as well. More than thirty years after the death of her son, she's still lighting candles in his memory, but now, it's more about remembering in love than wincing in pain.
Sometimes, we can't just write a check and make everything all better. Even if money is no object, no matter how big the check, it won't bring back an estranged spouse, a lost child, a beloved parent. And while it can be tempting to just close our eyes and take a long winter's nap until the holidays pass, finding the bittersweet spot between what happy holidays has always meant and what it means this year might be the best we can do.
But don't take my word for it. In her Huffington Post blog, Dr. Gloria Horsley shares not only the slow thaw that is holiday grief (over a period of years), but her own experience as well. More than thirty years after the death of her son, she's still lighting candles in his memory, but now, it's more about remembering in love than wincing in pain.
And this takes time. I'm not sure who said time heals all wounds, but I am sure that he (or she) didn't say how much time. This omission was, perhaps, wiser than the saying itself. Every wound heals in its own time and some take longer than others. And, to make things more complicated, holidays and anniversaries have a way of ripping out the stitches just when we thought the healing process was running smoothly.
'Tis the season for savoring joy wherever we find it, perhaps most of all when it arrives only in miniscule doses. 'Tis also the season to be kind, whether it means driving a little less aggressively or understanding when someone can't return our smile or well wishes.
If you have a little extra joy, be sure to share it. But remember to aim for compassion when others can't do the same.
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| Starbucks photo |
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