Pursued by Writing

Mohamed Hassan via Pixabay

When my husband proposed, he didn't know he'd be marrying a writer. Then again, neither did I.

I mean, he knew I liked to write but, when we met, community theatre was my creative pursuit. Writing was something I did sometimes. Community theatre shows came with a schedule -- albeit a very-time consuming one -- attached.

Writing does not.

When we first met, I was working full-time as an elementary school counselor in a large school district. A part-time opening arose in a smaller district and I jumped at it. Suddenly, I was working four days a week instead of five.

So, on the fifth day, I wrote.

Life was so much simpler then. It was just the two of us and, although I took my writing time and my budding freelance career seriously, I could compartmentalize it. It was not yet a career unto itself with a tendency to ooze outside the walls in which I contained it.

Fast forward two decades (give or take). Motherhood, a different job, regular writing gigs, book contracts and the occasional show at the community theatre all clamor for the time that was once allotted for just my husband and me, and none of these things have any desire to stay in their lane. Once adept at exiting one lane and merging into another at a moment's notice, I now (often) feel as though I'm navigating oncoming traffic. It's kind of exciting (when it's not terrifying).

It's a good life in which ideas reign, jockeying for position alongside relationships, holidays and life in general. But the trouble with ideas is that they don't tend to stay in their own lane. Although sitting down to write at a specific time builds a good writing habit, it doesn't necessarily mean the ideas will show up at the allotted hour. And the trouble with the aging brain is that it can't hang onto the ideas that pop up unexpectedly, like a great roadside attraction, as well as it used to.

In the first writing class I took, I remember being advised to carry a notebook around with me to jot down those ideas as they popped up. As a twenty-something with a reliable memory, I didn't fully understand the importance of that advice, but I do now. I have notebooks everywhere -- in my purse, in my school bag, in my car, in my office and in the dresser beside my bed. My husband barely even notices when I open the drawer beside the bed at 3 AM to jot down something I don't want to forget. Today, before putting the finishing touches on this post, I consolidated no less than five lists with ideas, to-dos and random thoughts.

Welcome to the inside of my brain.

manueldesign via Pixabay

My husband has been a pretty good traveling companion, especially for someone who had no idea what this ride would entail. He doesn't understand that writing is like a small child. It needs attention and it needs down time to consolidate all that has happened. If ignored, it will pester the writer, making her cranky until she attends to it and, for her part, if the writer is away from the writing for too long, she will miss it. Absence will, indeed, make the heart grow fonder, engaging the writer's selective memory so that she recalls only how lovely it was to spend time in writing's presence, but not the long silence, angry spats and misspoken words.

For writing, every day is the same. It doesn't understand, nor does it respect, weekends, holidays and a full night's sleep. It will call the writer away from all of these things, luring her with a new idea, a well-turned phrase or the perfect plot/character/ending/beginning that it has withheld for so long.

As I write this, I am being interrupted every ten minutes or so by the kitchen timer, reminding me to take Christmas cookies out of the oven. After I post this, I will want nothing more than to move on to another writing endeavor, but errands, wrapping and other holiday responsibilities will pull me away from my keyboard.

Wherever I go, writing will be my traveling companion, growing more vociferous the longer I stay away. Like a child, it doesn't yet understand that, no matter where I go, I carry it with me and no matter how long I am away, I will always be back.

I am a writer, and those are the rules of the game.