Doing the Unfathomable

The Stone Corridor, University College Cork
Photo via TripAdvisor

Last week, I took a vacation. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I could do it. I'm so accustomed to using school breaks to switch gears from teaching time to writing time that I wasn't certain I could actually do downtime.

As it turns out, I can.

I left my laptop at home -- ostensibly to lighten the luggage load -- but also because it symbolizes work. Instead, I brought along a keyboard I could use with my iPad. This made it possible for me to return necessary emails and write a few for fun, but not do too much else, particularly since at least one social media password remained lost in the recesses of my vacationing brain. 

I wrote blogs to post automatically in my absence and printed out the last few pages of my work-in-progress in case inspiration struck, but I neglected to grab the pages from the printer tray and ended up leaving them at home. On the other hand, I intentionally left every single paper that needed to be graded at home – and trust me, that was a substantial pile. 

Still is.

On the plane I read magazines, I listened to an audio book and I watched movies. I tried to sleep. I jotted down a few notes and spent a few moments trying to update some book promo work but otherwise, opted to scale back as completely as possible.

It's slightly scary to come to the realization that planned time away in any time but the summer seems like such a foreign concept, and could only be accomplished with so much prior planning. As a former counselor and a current college instructor, I preach self-care on a regular basis. Why was I so reluctant to step off the treadmill myself?

When you love what you do (as I do), the line between work and not work blurs, sometimes so completely that it recedes so deeply that there's no line at all. I had only a momentary mental struggle when it came to leaving papers to be graded behind -- so irresponsible! -- but they seemed out of place in a time meant to connect with my family, so I stacked them neatly and put them away to deal with this week. 

But no writing? I mean, that's what I do when I have a vacation.

In the end, I discovered it's possible to have a vacation that doesn't include writing and instead focuses on climbing the stone steps of castles, lighting candles in cathedrals and walking along the water in a coastal Irish town. Breakfast can be a meal that includes conversation and perusing the newspaper instead of mindlessly grabbing something I can ingest while I create slides for class and answer emails. Even better, it can include smiling Irish ladies who call me "love" and add sunshine to mornings spent away from home, and time with my daughter, who's been away from home for much too long.

Sometimes, we need to step away. It refreshes us (seven hour plane rides and dashes through airports notwithstanding), broadens our perspective and gives the mind the break we might not have even realized we needed. And when we step away to be with family, that is even better.

This week, I'm digging into the papers I left behind and trying to rid myself of the sinus headache that only spring in Pennsylvania can trigger. I'm planning out the rest of the semester, which is at once too close and too far away and working on the details necessary to promote my new book which releases in a little over two months. I'm making lists and writing blog posts and spending hours on my laptop again.

And every bit of it is made just a little easier because I dared to spend some time away, which begs only one question.

Why did it take me so long to practice what I preach?