Thank You

Yesterday, I received the final endorsement I'd requested for Know Thyself: The Imperfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff, which releases in June. This feedback from readers exceeded my expectations -- a revelation that was both humbling and exhilarating.

Admittedly, these endorsements came from people I know -- people I was pretty sure would find something good to say about the book. But corralling even that handful of endorsements into one document and reading them all together -- as they'll appear on the cover or front matter of the book itself -- was....

I'm not even sure I have words. And I spent 27 years as a counselor.

As writers, we want our words to reach people. And we want people to like our words, our characters, our ideas and our execution of all of these things on the page. Decades ago, in an often replayed soundbite, the still adorable Sally Field summed it all up perfectly.

You like me.

I remember having a conversation with someone (I no longer remember who) just before Casting the First Stone released. We were talking about the fact that now, everyone would be able to read my book.

And then it hit me. Everyone would be able to read my book. Those who loved me and those who...

Didn't.

Releasing characters and ideas into the world is a daunting process. I so want to share them all, but doing so sets me up for not only success, but criticism as well. No matter how many good reviews the book gets, the one that stings is the one that reverberates.

As humans, we have an inherent negativity bias -- even those of us who cultivate optimism are more susceptible to the impact of feedback that is hurtful than feedback that is laudatory. And so we writers -- and other creative people -- take a risk every time we send our work out into the world. Our work is an extension of our selves and, even though we don't expect everyone to like it (although that would be nice), we can never fully prepare for the impact when people don't.

So to all of those of you who have ever said anything nice to me about my writing -- thank you.

And to those of you who are less impressed -- thank you, too, but I hope you'll be gentle. Constructive criticism helps me make my work better. Thoughtless negativity, not so much.

I've been fortunate to receive more of the former than the latter and, even better, have cultivated a small but mighty group of readers who share my work with others.

And for that, I thank every single one of you. For a writer, it doesn't get much better than that.

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