Friday Feature: Love and Misbehavior

As a writer, I appreciate steady gigs and, it's even nicer when those writing opportunities are with publications I enjoy reading and writing for.

One of those publications is Today's Catholic Teacher. I finally got a chance to read through my winter issue the other night and soak in what those whose expertise lies outside mine (coding, anyone?) had to say. But I must admit that my favorite piece was the one that touched my retired counselor heart.

Entitled "Manage Misbehavior," this short piece by Sister Patricia McCormack had, at its heart, the concept that children's misbehavior is motivated not by a desire to torment adults, but by needs those children -- and we adults -- have. It encouraged the reader to consider children's needs to feel loved, in control of their world, competent, trustworthy and treated fairly, especially when they show those needs by acting out.

It's easy, especially at this busy time of year, to forget that children care about these things. As we run from one errand to the next, kids in tow, checking things off our lists in the countdown to Christmas, it's easy to be distracted or even annoyed our children, no matter how much we love them. But if we stop a minute to think about how we feel, chances are, they're feeling the same way. Frustrated? Tired? Overwhelmed? Out of control?

Yep. Been there. And the last thing I need when I feel that way is to be yelled at, belittled or drug on fourteen more errands.

Years ago at Christmastime, one of the (now-retired) priests in our parish talked about the traffic at Christmas, and how easy it is to lose our tempers. He told a very funny, very human story and, with perfect comedic timing, encouraged us to (pause) pray for the person in front of us who was making us feel like doing anything but.

'Tis the season. To be jolly, to be frustrated, to be overcaffeinated, over-sugared, over the moon, under the weather. If we stop for a moment to consider the unmet need of the person -- especially the little person -- whose behavior sucks the Christmas spirit right out of us, perhaps we can respond in a manner that's, well, what we'd want someone to do for us if we were in those shoes.

It's not easy, but it leads to a lot fewer regrets in this hectic season.

Right now, Sister Patricia's article is only available in the print publication, 

but here's a link to some of her other pieces.