Happy Birthday!

Pixabay

We've been celebrating a lot of birthdays month. My mom hit a milestone this year -- one that surpasses the 29th anniversary of her 29th birthday -- and we celebrated a friend's (substantially smaller) milestone last Saturday. My husband's birthday is three days after my mom's, and our friend and his college-aged daughter both celebrate in October as well.

Clearly, this is not the first year that we're celebrating all of these birthdays, but as I look at the range of ages, it strikes me that not all birthdays are created equal. When we're kids, we can't wait for our birthdays to arrive. Birthdays mean cake and presents and parties and a day that's all about us.

As young adults, we begin celebrating our birthdays differently. Our friend's daughter celebrated her first at-college birthday, something our daughter will do next month. As we head deeper into adulthood, the shimmer of birthdays begins to dull. We focus more on the celebrations of our children, and, over time, acknowledge our own birthdays only grudgingly.

Why did we develop this backwards view, where youth is to be celebrated, but that a life well-lived is to be somehow brushed aside, obscured by a number which, in the end, means nothing?

I don't mean to get morbid here. I'm just wondering: why don't we strike up the band and create a big fanfare for every year that we're alive and accomplished? Do we find it somehow frivolous? Do we think we're too mature? If so, who convinced us that trading in a party for maturity was somehow a good deal?

My mom has been alive for more decades than she wants me to tell you. She and my dad have been married for more than fifty years. They've raised two daughters who've grown up, moved out and added new branches to the family tree. My parents have friends, family and colleagues who value them, support them and remember when they could dance all night, but who love them just as much now that they'd rather stay in and watch Netflix. When my sister and I planned their golden wedding anniversary celebration, it was small, at their request, but what it lacked in numbers, it more than made up for in love.

Love. Pride. Relationships. Friends. Family. Respect. These are indicators of a life well-lived, things that are earned and burnished with time. And birthdays give us an opportunity to acknowledge them. So why not make the day of our birth a celebration? Instead of measuring them against the high points of years past -- and often coming up short -- why don't we make them a day that celebrates the things that take a lifetime to achieve and appreciate?

I know, I know. I'm being childish and self-indulgent. Maybe I should just grow up.

Or maybe that's what I want to celebrate in the first place.

The Glamorous Life of an Author

Lately, a friend and I have been joking about the glamorous life of an author. I mean, the wardrobe alone inspires envy, don’t you think? And the lifestyle? Like any profession, it has wonderful moments, but chances are, it’s a tad different from what you’d imagine.

In the past eighteen months, I’ve done a variety of events, ranging from traditional bookstore signings to online “appearances” to less-than-traditional celebrations in a few of my favorite places. Most of it has been a lot of fun, and that was no accident. “Fun” was the one ingredient I insisted on when it came to promotion, because, after all, if the event isn’t fun, then I should be spending my time writing instead.

Some events are less, um, eventful than others, and as I reflect back on the past year and a half, it would be easy to complain and concentrate on those.

But you don’t want to read about that.

So, as I prepare to dig into the publishing process for the next book, and climb aboard this merry-go-round all over again, I want to reflect on some of the fun, and offer some thanks. I’m grateful for:

• Special places: Two of my favorite events happened at two of my favorite places: the Starbucks I visit almost daily, and the library my daughter and I “discovered” when she was three.

• Loyal friends: Those who bought my book, acted as beta readers and copy editors, wrote reviews, and, even before that, asked me how the book was coming along — before it was even a book.

• Long-distance friends: My parents threw a party to celebrate the book, which, due to circumstances beyond their control, took place nearly a year after the book came out. Not only did our family and their friends come to celebrate, but so did several of my high school friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in many years. In addition, friends from the district where I had my first job were the impetus for a party in their neck of the woods where I spent a wonderful afternoon catching up.  

• Brave friends: As I was leaving the house to go to my first book party, it started to snow. Though travel conditions were less than ideal, many friends made the trip anyway, some traveling from two hours away. They’re officially braver than I am, and I’m officially grateful. 

• Clever friends: One of the friends who made the two-hour trip parked himself at a table with his laptop and took it upon himself to procure as many likes for my writer page as he could. I had no idea he was doing this until after the deed was done, and the page had jumped 75 likes in one afternoon.

• Talented friends: One of the baristas at my favorite Starbucks is a trained chef. She and her baking partner created an amazing book cake for my launch party, along with to-die-for jumbo cupcakes. I froze the leftovers and feasted on them for almost a month after the party.

• Patient friends and family, who came to multiple events and tolerated book signings and celebrations long after the novelty had worn off (for them)...even when I scheduled these festivities during our vacation.

• Author friends: The folks who totally get it, help me problem solve when I’m freaking out, and celebrate with me. Some of these are also….

• Barista friends, who came to my launch party and celebrated the book fueled in part by the iced chai tea lattes they crafted for me. Two of these barista friends are writers themselves, and I love our “So, what are you working on now?” talks.

• Online friends, who read my blogs, follow me on Twitter, like my author page and share triumphs along the way. 

Funny how it's all about friends. 

Relationships.

Maybe that's because without them, there's not much to celebrate.