Placing the Goal Posts

Every month, I set goals for myself. Sitting down and writing out what I want to accomplish focuses me and helps me to juggle the various aspects of my life -- one step in moving toward an often elusive work-life blend.

Often, I overshoot. Sometimes, the balls I'm juggling all come crashing to the ground.

This morning, I sat down to review my August accomplishments and set new goals for September. As usual, I'd hit a few and missed a few. Okay, I hit a few and missed most of the rest.

Often, I overshoot.

Someone else reviewing my goals might suggest that I create goals that are more realistic, or that I pull back and set goals in fewer areas. If I were being evaluated by anyone but myself on the goals I set, or if my professional progress depended on meeting my goals, that's exactly what I'd do.

But I've come to like overshooting. My goals aren't the SMART goals embraced by businesses and, taken together, they're not even the REAL goals I wrote about last spring.

Separately, however, REAL goals is exactly what they are. They represent a combination of hopes, dreams and the actions necessary to make them happen. When I judge my progress on a black-and-white, success-or-failure scale, it's easy to feel defeated, but when I focus on growth, I not only feel better, but I also know exactly where to go with my goals for the next month.

When we fail, we have several choices. We can huddle in a corner feeling defeated. We can get angry and beat ourselves up. We can lament how we'll never amount to anything because we missed an imaginary goal post we erected ourselves.

That doesn't sound very smart, does it?

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I prefer to take the growth mindset approach I teach my students. Failure teaches. It tells us whether the goal posts are too close, too far, or just right. Sitting down this morning writing a short narrative to myself about my progress on each of my goals helped me reflect on whether or not my focus was in the right place, particularly as I move from August to September, from summer vacation to fall semester. It helped me to see where I did more than I set out to do and where I fell short so that I could shape September's goals accordingly.

This habit, begun when I retired six years ago, serves not only to help me make progress but, as it turns out, it has helped me to reframe failure. If we see failure as the end, or as a personal flaw, we stop moving forward but, if we see it as instructive, it's a tool not for lamenting the past, but for shaping the future.

No matter how realistic our goals, we will sometimes fail to reach them. Life intervenes, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in ways we'd rather not imagine. Tossing out our goals because we're afraid we won't reach them deprives us of the wonderful sense of accomplishment we earn when we do.

Life is full of failure. It's all in how you frame it. As for me and my goals, we plan to emerge victorious.

At least some of the time.

Do Goals Have to be SMART?

pasja1000 via Pixabay

I finished a book yesterday. Reading one, that is.

Yes, I know that shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. As an educator, I read a lot, but I typically don't read things cover to cover, unless you count reading a magazine article or journal article from beginning to end. As a writer with a day job, when I get "free" time, I have to choose between writing and reading.

Writing frequently wins.

Finishing the book yesterday was particularly apt as it was Easter, the joyous end to the liturgical season of Lent. Each year, during Lent, I usually give something up, but I also aim to do more of something that matters, but that tends to get shortchanged.

This year, reading was one of those things. It was a soft goal, actually, nonspecific, broadly phrased roughly coming down to "read more." At one point, I was aiming for a magazine a week (as much to get rid of outdated issues as to read) or a portion of a book each week, but the original goal just said "Read."

To facilitate this goal, I tucked my Kindle into my purse so I'd be sure that if I had my purse with me, I'd have books with me. So, yesterday, after my family left and all the desserts had been put away, I bypassed all the things I should do and pulled out my Kindle.

And finished my book. And maybe napped a little. Reading tends to have that effect on me, especially if I'm tucked under a blanket, which I was. But, when I opened my eyes again, I remained determined to get that little bar on the bottom of my Kindle screen to 100%.

The point of this goal was to nudge me toward something I wanted to do more of -- to create a good habit that also happened to be good for me and enjoyable. I teach my students to set goals that are specific and measurable so they''ll know when they've arrived, and I strive to do the same.

But sometimes, fuzzy goals do the trick. Had I set a goal to read five minutes on day one, ten minutes on day two all the way up to 200 minutes on day 40 (if I did my math right), somewhere along the way, I would most likely have dropped the ball when I didn't have an extra, say, 70 minutes, to read. Then, most likely, I would have abandoned the goal. Instead of inspiring myself to fit something important into my life in an authentic way, I'd have sucked all the joy out of the pursuit, ending Lent much the way I'd started it.

Wishing I had more time to read.

When we set goals, we need to set them in much the same way we want to accomplish them. When we want the change to be structured change (e.g. "go to the gym three times a week"), we need to set a structured goal. When we want to effect a change that we can integrate into our lives in a nonspecific way (e.g. do more of something), a less daunting goal can do the trick.

Tumisu via Pixabay

For me, this was a revelation. I tend to see goals as a hit it or missed it proposition, and the fact that a gradual easing into something could help develop a habit in a realistic way surprised me. I'm sure the fact that the thing I was easing into was rewarding in and of itself played a part, but that's a discussion for another post.

What have you been meaning to do? Could a flexible goal be a way to make it happen?

Resolutions and Goals and Calendars - Oh, My!

This year, for the first time, I am forcing myself to come face-to-face with my goals. When I made my New Year's resolutions, I wrote them as goals for several important areas of my life. I would never have attempted this while working full-time, but now that I'm retired and pursuing new adventures, it was a way of keeping myself on-track.

As I do this, and as part of my planning for the classes I'm teaching, I find myself going back to my tried and true resources. I first read Marcia Ramsland's Simplify Your Time a few years ago, and at that time, I only skimmed the sections on projects - very lightly. Back then, I was more interested in getting the day-to-day under control, and projects were something to be tackled...someday.

Now I am at a different stage of my life - one where so much of what I do is a project in and of itself, and I'm the only project manager. So, I find myself establishing the same SMART goals that were foisted upon me at work, and following the advice I've read in so many places for so long - setting annual goals, writing monthly goals and breaking them down into smaller chunks that can be managed on a daily or weekly basis. It's an entirely different mindset.

And it's actually kind of fun. (Admittedly, I might define "fun" differently than the average person). At the beginning of each month, I review my goals from the previous month and set new goals for the month to come, based on my accomplishments. I take the advice I read in Ramsland's book and write the projects (goals) for each month at the top of the page for the month in my planner. In addition, I look over my annual goals - the ones that began as New Year's resolutions - to see if I'm making progress.

If you'd suggested this to me five years ago, I'd've rolled my eyes and told you that it sounded like an awful lot of work. And you know what? I'd've been wrong. It actually doesn't take much time at all, and the payoff (staying focused and motivated much of the time) is worth it.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the next item on my list - working on this week's Friday Freebie.