Rethinking the Shoulds

 One day last week, I was gathering up my things, getting ready to go to an appointment, and chiding myself over things I hadn’t gotten around to doing. Midway through "should-ing" myself – you know, I should have done this and I should have done that – I stopped. 

What had I done?

I'd listened to my body when it told me I needed more sleep. I'd started out my morning slowly, in a way that made me ready to take on the day. I'd helped my dad work out an issue with a frequently used app on his phone. I'd made a dent in my to-be graded list -- completing everything I'd put on the list for that day, as a matter of fact. I'd written a blog post. 

And yet my focus was on tasks I'd left undone -- tasks which, quite frankly, hadn’t been on the list to begin with. Despite the fact that everything I'd done had been a good use of my time, not to mention in line with what I'd set out to do that day (for the most part), I was still chiding myself. 

Beating myself up for what I didn't do is a bad habit of mine. (Just me?) Fortunately, on that particular day, I managed to catch myself in time to step back and really think about how I'd spent my time.

And only in looking back over the day did I realize it had been a balanced day. I'd taken care of myself. I'd helped out a family member. I'd managed work responsibilities, and I'd even gotten some writing in  -- all before I left for my appointment. 

Sure, there was more to do. But there will always be more to do. And deluding ourselves into thinking that our to-do lists aren't on infinite scroll will only make us unhappy because it leads to the unrealistic belief that we really can do it all.

Spoiler alert: we can't. At least not in one day, or all at once.

The truth was, I'd been able to write that blog post because I'd kept my tasks bite-sized enough that I wasn't mentally exhausted. And mental exhaustion is a surefire road block to creativity.

We are more than our to-do lists. And it’s high time we learned to press “mute” on our “should” buttons and be satisfied with what we do accomplish. And maybe, just maybe, that will leave us with the energy we need to step away from the list and do something that really matters.

Image by Rosy / Bad Homburg / Germany from Pixabay