Monday, February 19, 2018

Time Changes Everything?

Wolfganggerth via Pixabay
My daughter was home for a whirlwind visit last weekend. Her trip included a rare Friday night dinner at home (my husband and I usually go out to dinner on Friday nights), an orchestra concert featuring Latin American music and a shopping trip 21st century style.

It was an interesting weekend.

She came home primarily for the concert, which she hoped would fulfill an attendance requirement for one of her classes. It started snowing about two hours before we were to leave; luckily, my husband came to the rescue. I wouldn't have missed the concert, but not worrying about the drive home enabled me to settle in and enjoy the whole experience a lot more.

I really didn't know what to expect. I'd been to orchestra concerts before and, once upon a time, I was in a few of them myself when I played violin (briefly and badly), but on Saturday, I recognized only a couple of the composers on the program. Snow aside, it turned out to be a nice evening -- one of those grown-up outings that slowly but surely become the norm as a child becomes a young adult.

Another benefit of having a young adult in the house is that she takes advantage of almost any opportunity to drive. She doesn't have a car at school and when she's away, I think she misses driving more than anything else (except perhaps her bed).

On Saturday afternoon, she did a Target run for us so of course I sent her off with a list.

Initially, the list was handwritten. But two items in, as I found myself describing precisely which hairspray and precisely which aluminum foil I wanted, I stopped writing, pulled out my phone and took pictures of the items in question. Before I knew it, a series of texted photos replaced the simple paper-and-pencil list with which I'd begun.

It's funny. As a mom, I'm very aware of how much my daughter has changed over time, but I sometimes lose track of how much she has changed me. I know that the combination of teaching young adults and having one of my own helps to keep me young (relatively speaking), and I sometimes wonder just how different I'd be without these consistent, usually positive influences. I know I'd explore less technology, know less about music (contemporary and otherwise) and have to make my own Target runs, but I wonder how many subtle things would be different as well.

Yesterday, as we drove her to the train station, I wasn't thinking about Target lists or orchestra concerts or the best way to create a grocery list. I was (once again) wishing we had just a little more time together, not for errands or even fun nights out, but just time together in the same space, for just a little while.

And no matter how much I change, I don't expect that I'll ever stop wishing for that.

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