Friday Feature: Peeking Into My Kindle

 I haven't done a Sunday sampling in a long time but, this weekend, I really wanted to sit down and do just that. I ended up reading three very different samples: Wintering by Katherine May, New Happy by Stephanie Harrison and Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived. Three books, three different decisions/outcomes for their futures in my personal library.

Wintering is beautifully written. The language is lovely and the concept of times in our lives when what we need most is relaxation and recharging was definitely interesting. Unfortunately, it left me feeling a little like I was reading Sylvia Plath. Maybe I’ve been teaching positive psychology for too long, but it was too sad for me. I found myself skimming over the parts about her depression and reading more about strategies. Again, maybe this is a personal or psychology bias – probably it is. But I like to read in order to either learn or escape and this book felt too heavy for me. I want to reiterate that it’s beautifully written and I'm certain that there's an audience that would appreciate it tremendously. I just didn’t think I had the constitution to read the entire book so I deleted the sample.

Speaking of positive psychology, I had downloaded Flourishing when I was prepping for my positive psych class few semesters back. It’s more than 20 years old, so, despite its excellent format of chapters by various positive psychology researchers, I don’t feel comfortable assigning it as a textbook because some of it feels out of date. Still, there were some very interesting concepts in the sample like Seligman’s three pillars of positive psychology and a chapter on resilience that I will likely use with my classes. It helps a lot that they’re part of the sample – the chapters, that is – I can simply ask my students to go on Amazon and do their assignment by reading "Look inside this book” or by downloading the sample of the e-book to our course platform. I kept this sample because I’d highlighted various concepts that I wanted to bring out when I teach positive psychology again. The concepts themselves are somewhat timeless, and so the copyright date mattered less. So far, the sample is sufficient.

Finally, and also speaking of positive psychology, I had already read the sample of New Happy and, while I hadn’t found a lot of new-to-me information in it, at least as far as the sample goes, I’d enjoyed it. Her premise is well-articulated in the description above the title: "Getting happiness right in a world that’s got it wrong." I had found the sample interesting enough that I wanted to read more but, given that it felt familiar in its concepts, I wanted to find my cheapest option. I started with the library, which didn’t have it. That search made me aware that there’s an audiobook, so I checked out the price of that, and weighed it against whether I wanted to listen to the book or have a physical copy in my hand. Listening would be interesting, but I haven’t ruled it out as a possible read for one of my classes so an actual copy that I could highlight seemed like a better idea. The cheapest copy I found on eBay was in good condition, but that made me wonder how much highlighting was already in the book. In the end, I ended up with a Kindle copy. If I decide, I want to use it with my students, I will end up looking for a physical copy, but, for now, at $4.99, the price point was right. When I hadn't gotten back to the book a few days later, I bought the audiobook (so much for the cheapest option), which I am enjoying tremendously. I especially like her simple idea of new happy: "Happiness comes from discovering who you are and sharing yourself in ways that help other people." 

Although I love the convenience of reading e-books, I’m still very much a hard copy girl. My husband reads exclusively on his iPad and so does my dad. My daughter, like me, has a mix of hard copies, audiobooks, and e-books. I still prefer to have a novel in my hand rather than on a device or a screen, but my non-fiction is pretty much mixed across all three formats.

How about you? Are you an e-book reader? A hard copy person? How about audiobooks? How do you decide?

 As you can tell, I wrote this post before Christmas -- a week before, to be precise -- but I never got it posted. I'm sharing it now (belatedly) because I think the sentiment is true or any season, fa la la la las or not.

Yesterday, a barista at the Starbucks I frequent wrote "have a wonderful day Ms. Lisa" on my drink cup. Today, the owner of a small, independent bookstore near my home agreed to take a look at my books for possible inclusion in her store. This afternoon a staff member sent me a "no problem!" Reply to an email I hadn't wanted to write because my procrastination made me look bad and, when I got home after completing a few items on my list, I had some time in a quiet house to sit by the Christmas tree in my sunroom and write this post.

It really is the little things.

Sure, I could choose to focus on the price of my drink, the time frame I'll need to wait for the book seller to make a decision – one that could be a rejection –  the fact that I still have to do the onerous task related to that long-overdue email or the fact that I had to wreck the Christmas tree ambience because I couldn't see well enough to write.

But what good would that do? Life is full of challenges and disappointments, but it's also full of lovely moments, if only we keep our eyes and minds open to their loveliness. Sure, not every cloud has a silver lining; some bring storms that rain on us for days  –  or even a whole season  –  but most of the time, we can choose our outlook. And I have decided that, as much as possible, 'tis the season to choose happy.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

(Image by Annemarie Deloo via Pixabay)

Contemplating

 I actually wrote a draft of this post last fall and never finished it. It seems to be a good place to begin the new year. :-)

We are Big Bang Theory fans at our house – so much so that we can repeat many of the lines on cue. We came to the show only once it was already established, but have more than made up for missing the initial episodes by the number of times that we’ve watched it in syndication and on streaming services.

Recently there was an episode where Penny was questioning whether or not to continue pursuing her acting career. When a perceived big break turned out to be a big disappointment she began to wonder if she'd come to the end of the road.

Though I've seen the episode numerous times, it resonated a bit differently this time as lately I've found myself in Penny‘s position. I’ve long had a dream about what I thought a career as a writer would look like, and, like Penny, I’ve come face to face with the irrefutable truth that for every perceived break big break there are any number of heartrending, small, medium, and large-sized disappointments.

This is not a pity party. This is me finding myself at a similar fork in the road. It isn’t even so much a career reckoning as it is a moment to accept or reject the rules of the journey itself.

As anyone who engages in creative pursuits knows, there are all sorts of opportunities to exercise and embrace that passion, ranging from private to amateur to professional pursuits. This is definitely true with writers. We have to ask ourselves why we write. Do we write to become rich and famous? Very few of us will be. Do we write simply to exercise the muscle or for the joy of putting words on the page? If that’s the case, journaling and little poems we doodle in margins should be sufficient. 

La Petite Femme via Pixabay

Do we write to try to reach people with our stories and/or have that desire to put our work out into the world? That’s a bit of a murky swamp. There are myriad ways we can put our work out into the world, especially in this age of social media and, for each writer, what that looks like is perhaps a little bit different.

But, like Penny, even if we find it a bit impossible to embrace the rules of the game, if we want to play, we have to accept them. Major publishers won’t accept work submitted by anyone but literary agents and, increasingly it’s become as hard to find literary representation as it is to find a publishing house that wants your book.

Years ago, when blogging first became a thing, many writers moaned about it being a pursuit that took them away from their writing. It took me a long time for my blogging to become more than a sporadic pursuit but, during the year that I was retired, I chose to put blogging on the front burner and I developed an actual schedule that I stuck to for quite some time. For me, blogging is a model I continue to choose, not only because I enjoy it, but also because it keeps my writing muscles toned and helps me sharpen my ability to put words on the page in a relatively short time. In addition, it helps me to be less perfectionistic about what that final product looks like, which is a skill every writer needs. 

There have certainly been times when the posts were few and far between, especially when I first started blogging and had an young child at home. Recently, doing a show replaced blogging because it ate into the time I would have normally used for blogging and, since it flexed my creative muscles, it fell through the cracks. 

But even before that, I was going through the same struggle I faced early on and it only dawned on me as I was writing this that it’s for the same reasons. When I really hit my writing my blogging stride, I was either not working – the one blissful year when I was retired and figuring out what I wanted to be when I grew up – or I was working part-time. The part-time job I took on when I retired has now come to occupy full-time job mental space and, once again I find myself in the familiar space of trying to decide where my writing fits into my professional life.

Again, this is not a pity party. For any endeavor that we pursue, we need to decide whether or not it’s worth the time that it involves and the personal costs that we incur. I’m not planning on walking away from this blog (or writing) anytime soon, but, as my increasingly infrequent posts indicate, I seem to once again be in a season of life where making time for “all the things” is a bigger challenge than it once was.

I’m also in the season of life where I find myself wondering if the price I pay for the game I play is worth it, and whether or not the rules are something I buy into. Specifically, I’m beginning to wonder about the cost of admission for traditional publishing. Sure, it’s free to get in, much in the same way as volunteering for an organization costs nothing but time and energy. But these are valuable things – perhaps among the most valuable we possess — and I’m now at an age where I’m becoming a little bit stingy about the way I spend those things.

This I know: holding myself to a blogging schedule is sucking the joy out of blogging for me and so, I’m going to recognize this – the schedule – as the red activity (one that subtracts joy and/or energy) that it is. In so doing, I can savor the writing -- the one that adds joy and/or energy -- that’s at the heart of it. 

Similarly, I’m wondering about how I want to get my work out into the world. When I first started, self-publishing wasn't a thing and now, many writers are making that explicit choice; this is, in fact, how I've chosen to put some of my novels out into the world. Just as a professional athlete needs to know when it’s time to retire from the game they’ve loved, I have to decide what level I want to play on here and now. Specifically, I need to decide how whether or not the rules of what I've always considered to be the professional game are the rules I choose to follow in the life I'm living now.

Walking away from the game doesn’t mean that you stop playing. It just means, in many cases, that you play at your own pace and according to your own rules. And with age, I hope I’ve developed the wisdom to decide which pace and rules work best for me.

Mohamed hasan via Pixabay

So what does that mean for this blog? I’ll still be here. But forcing the posts to appear according to a particular schedule has created a schedule that is so full it has turned the joyful, green activity of writing into an often frustrating red activity of production. So, while my posts are likely to be a little more unpredictable, especially during the school year, I still want to meet you here. I just hope you’ll be patient with my flexible schedule, as I grapple with the rules of the game and decide which ones align with the game I want to play here and now.

As for the rest of it, I have some thinking to do. But here, the rules haven't changed, only the schedule, and I hope you'll continue to meet me here. 

Murali nath via Pixabay

Hello friends! I hope your holidays were wonderful and restful. 

I'm working on a post for Monday, and working on getting back on track here. 

See you soon!

Every Eight Years, Whether I Need to or Not

 It's been almost 8 years since I've done a show that was longer than a one act. Now, as of about two weeks ago, I'm finding myself at rehearsals again, wondering about the challenge of learning lines and creating a character. This time around, the director is a friend I made in the last show I did, a show that began with the experience described below. This one isn't a Neil Simon play but rather Steel Magnolias, a show I'm excited to be a part of in a theatre I've never performed in before. 

Let the adventure begin.

pompi via Pixabay

Last night, I went to an audition for the first time in longer than I can remember. It was only the second play I'd auditioned for since college (I usually audition for musicals) and this one, like the last one, is by Neil Simon.

The particular theatre has changed a lot since I started doing shows there, but I suppose that's to be expected since nearly three decades have passed since my first audition at that theatre. The last set of renovations included a new administrator, a face lift and a name change that was widely unpopular among some of the long-time volunteers. Some said they'd never return, but that's a pretty challenging promise for a volunteer actor in a small town.

An audition is an audition is an audition. Same table in the lobby, same clipboards, same cast of characters (or at least a version of the same crew), each waiting his or her turn to impress. In the meantime, some hold court, others size up the competition and a few linger over their clipboards, trying to remember their resumes and wondering why they thought this was a good idea in the first place.

This was perhaps a ridiculous idea, as I don't really have time for a show. I barely have time for the commitments I've signed on for already, and I'm not completely sure I can still memorize lines. But my retirement has been forsaken for another full-time job. While that turn of events that is just fine with me, it's putting me at risk of being all work and no play.

So, it was time for a play.

Or at least to try out for one. I don't know how things will turn out. I didn't hedge my bets -- a first, I think. There is only one role I want because there is only one character I was drawn to enough to turn my schedule upside down for the next two months. The others would be fun to play, but I'm just not willing to put in the time. I have other characters waiting for me -- those of my own creation -- who, like a pet left home alone for too long are at risk of doing unspeakable things if I don't get back to them soon, and so I must chose my time away very carefully.

Still, it was fun to read with other actors again, to find the timing that earns the laughs. When writers do this, we don't know if the laughs (or the tears) come; reading, unlike theatre-going, is a solitary pursuit.

It was fun to immerse myself in the work of a playwright whose works make me laugh, even if now they seem a bit dated and perhaps a bit too on-the-nose given current headlines.

Pixabay

It was gratifying to know that, although I'm no longer the twenty-something who drove an hour to nervously audition at this theatre, now of another name, I can still convince myself to take a chance.

I won't know how this all turns out until the end of the week, but I'm okay with either option. I connected with a character, I took a risk, and I looked at a play from both sides of the page. Now I just need to see which side of the page I land on.

Stay tuned.

Morning Pursuits

 When spring semester ended last May, I couldn’t wait to sit in my sunroom, drink my iced tea and do my New York Times puzzles without a ticking clock. But my summer course, which began a week after spring semester ended, is online, so starting the day on a screen, even for leisure activities, quickly became less satisfying than I’d expected. 

One Sunday morning, I decided to intentionally begin the day differently. Instead of going right to my New York Times games, I would devote 15 minutes to reading, journaling, and other offline pursuits before turning to Wordle and the mini crossword.

Fifteen minutes flew by, quickly blossoming into close to an hour. The book I chose quickly sparked new ideas, leading me to other things — notes jotted in my reading journal, and ideas for this blog and other writing projects.

I was amazed by how such a simple change in routine led to an explosion of new thoughts and ideas. I would credit the book I was reading, but although it was good, it wasn’t particularly remarkable, making it a springboard into the flow that ensued, rather than the distraction that it could have been.

In his workshop at the Pennwriters conference last May, author and psychologist Brent Maguire talked about how we can use our habits to fuel our writing. While reading only sometimes leads me to an explosion of ideas, my New York Times games, enjoyable as they are, never do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop playing them (I’m not), but it does mean that first thing in the morning might not be the best time to do so, at least not on a daily basis. Unless my change in routine was an anomaly (and I don’t think it was), it’s possible that I was handing over a potentially fruitful time to the pursuit of an activity that narrowed my focus rather than broadening it. 

The funny thing is that I’m NOT a morning person. I like to start my day slowly, preferably after 9AM. But first thing in the morning, I haven’t yet been hijacked by the day’s to-do list. Consequently, my mind is freer to go wherever it pleases until I rein it in with thoughts of right answers and productivity. Starting with my puzzles narrowed my focus, whereas reading, journaling and other offline pursuits invited the ideas to flow, broadening my creativity.

Some mornings, the New York Times puzzles will beckon and I will heed their call. But, knowing what I know now, I'll do so with intention. 

On other mornings, though, especially those without deadlines, I'll brush aside the temptation and opt for reading and journaling instead, relishing the path on which those pursuits take me.

And, time permitting, I'll continue to follow where they lead.

Iced tea image by Lucent_Designs_dinoson20 from Pixabay

Happy National Day on Writing!

 Today is the National Day on Writing. Outside the Starbucks on campus, members of the Department of Communication and Writing and the staff of our on-campus writing magazine manned a table to capture the opinions of students and staff on a few writing-related questions. My freshmen answered the questions in class, leading me to ponder them myself. 

Here are the questions and my answers.

WHY DO YOU WRITE? I agree with many of my students, who use it as a form of self-expression. I also write to create and to educate. I love making up people and endowing them with characteristics and personalities and seeing what kind of trouble I can get them into. And, as a lifelong educator, I love sharing what I know and/or what I've discovered in the hope it will help someone else. 

WHY DO YOU LOVE TO WRITE? The truth is, I don't always love to write. Depending on the project it can be anxiety-producing or even a chore. But, when it's a project I love and things are going smoothly, I love to write because it's fun.

WHERE DO YOU WRITE? Everywhere. Recently, I started a notebook in which to capture all my musings, but I have notepads and writing implements in my car, in most rooms of my house, and in every purse or tote bag I own. If I find myself with a few minutes to spare, whether it's in the Starbucks drive-through or in the waiting room at the doctor's office, I'm always prepared to scribble a few ideas on the page.

HOW DO YOU WRITE? Any way I can. Most projects are very linear, beginning at the beginning of the story and moving on logically from there. Occasionally, a project is more like a patchwork -- my current novel fits this description -- leaving me writing out of order and worrying if the end result will be a fully realized quilt or a pile of scraps.

WHY DOES WRITING MATTER? With AI taking over everything except the things I want it to do (cook dinner, clean the bathroom, etc.), I think writing and all creative activities are more important than ever. The writing we humans produce is flawed and imperfect, but represents a piece of the person who created it. AI is a helpful tool, but I think it's ill-suited to replace the uniqueness of the product that pours out of an individual human being.

How about you? Do you journal, write poetry, compose letters? Why is writing important in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments. I'd love to read them.

Graphic courtesy of the National Council of Teachers of English